I’ve moved: Peanutbutterjellypie!
Though I might occasionally still update this blog, I’m not fully ready to move on yet.
School hasn’t started yet but I already have homework!
I’m starting to experience the infamous never-able-to-be-finished-because-that’s-just-how-much-it-is workload that law students always talk about.
That’s the sound of my social life saying goodbye, which necessitates an unhappy smiley =(
I was totally confuzzled as to which classes I’m supposed to bid for – one moment I thought I had to bid for everything and thus a headache ensued, then I read the bidding handbook in more detail and realized that I only need to bid for one other class while the rest of my classes are already scheduled and thus the headache subsided, then I read some emails from my OG mates which confused me again and so the headache returned, then at last I found my confirmed class schedule on the student portal and it turns out I only need to bid for one or two more classes but I still have a headache from all the to-and-fro!
It didn’t help that I thought the law briefing was on the 7th but it turned out to be on the 2nd, which was today. I realized this when my friend called me up to ask where I was, and I was still in bed while she was at the briefing. Sigh, I really need to stop being such so blur and unaware, it’s not cute when it comes to things like this.
On a brighter note, my timetable is pretty okay, nothing too horrible except for Wednesday which is pretty heavy. They’re all in the afternoon though, I was hoping for all of them to be in the morning (so I can stop being so lazy and waking up at 11.30am all the time).
Sigh school 
For the whole day, I’ve had the image of a steel nut in my mind, and the reason why I kept thinking about it was because I couldn’t bloody recall the name of it. You know how these things just keep bothering you if you can’t figure them out. So I kept googling, “metal ring”, “metal knob”, “metal screw thing” and so on, then it finally hit me, STEEL NUT. The relief and assurance you get from such an experience is underrated.
Anyway, went for the Broken Social Scene concert a couple of days ago. Amanda bought me the Fujifilm Instant Camera in Korea and so far I haven’t really used it properly yet aka in the day, so here are a couple of wasted shots taken at the concert –
At the risk of sounding unbelievably square, I guess it was my first proper concert to a band that I actually like (I totally refuse to reveal what my first concert was as it is one of the more I-will-die-from-embarrassment-if-I-tell-anyone things that I’ve done and I’ll never get over it. Shane gives me enough shit for it too). I haven’t been able to go for any concerts that I wanted to go to because a) I usually can’t find anyone to go with, or b) it’s held at Fort Canning Park where my lack of height leads to the inability to see the band and suffocate from the body heat or c) didn’t even know they came. Anyway, I enjoyed it a lot, it made me realize there’s a shit load of stuff I’ve been missing out on.
And thanks to my momma, I’m getting this tomorrow:
In the world of emoticons, I am colon capital D!
The tricky thing about confessing one’s level of sexual experience is that regardless of what it is, there will always be people who will judge you for it, especially in a country where half of us are still bound to traditional values pertaining to the issue and the other half who are more liberal about it.
If you lack the sexual experience, some people will pass the judgment that you’re frigid, uptight or a prude.
If you do have the sexual experience, some people will self-righteously claim that you lack self-respect or moral character. You can’t win either way.
One’s personal stand on pre-marital sex, whatever it may be, doesn’t bother me, but what I have an issue with is the judgment they pass onto other people who do not share the same opinion. For something so subjective as this, we ought to realize that our own personal decisions are purely just that – personal, and nothing more. Our principles based on this issue aren’t universally right, just personal. I hate it when people laugh at the conservative group, and I hate it when people proclaim that sex after marriage is only “moral” and “correct”. But of course, from what I see, the latter group is the more hateful and self-righteous out of the two.
It is a flawed criteria to be used to assess someone’s moral character anyway.
That being said, my own personal opinion on it simply boils down to the attitude that one has towards it. To me, as long as your partner respects and loves you and vice versa, sex will only form a stronger bond with him/her. It’s only a degrading physical act when the respect is lacking. I think marriage is merely a legal declaration and bond between two people anyway, it is in no way an accurate tool to measure the amount of love between two people. For those who retort, “But you might get an STD. You’ll never know if your partner is sleeping with someone else while he/she is in a relationship with you! Marriage shows his/her commitment to you.” Well, if this whole thing really does boil down to trust issues, then why the hell are you even in a relationship with a person you can’t even trust to be faithful to you in the first place? In fact, if you’re still having such doubts about his/her loyalty after a few years of being in a serious relationship, it really is a relationship worth examining and rethinking. If I had a boyfriend who told me that the reason why he doesn’t want to sleep with me is because he thinks I might be sleeping around with other people and only through marriage will I be able to prove that I’m monogamous, I’d be incredibly insulted. Plus, sex really is a very normal aspect of human instinct, sometimes I don’t think it even is a matter of self-respect and morals but it is merely a scientific view of human behavior.
Anyway, random photo of food!
A spinach and mushroom pizza that Shane and I made. Turned out surprisingly good.
Okay I totally need to change my blog layout, it’s been like this for the past 3-4 years.
But I’ll change it when I have a nice photo to upload into the custom header thingy.
I think I need to change my blog url as well, it seems “eatmyshorts”, while intended as a Simpsons reference, used to be a porn site, hence the many searches on google for it. My next blog url ought to be free of porn references.
I feel like I have a lot to write about, just that I don’t know how to put it in words. I think it’s because I’m also trying to figure things out, so I’d just end up writing in circles.
I don’t quite understand the rationale behind wanting to have children. I guess it refers back to the primal need to reproduce for survival, to “throw forward” some of your own DNA into the future, so that you are somewhat living in the subsequent generations after you, a kind of twisted immortality.
Like Denise said, all the reasons to have children are essentially selfish (assuming I’m excluding accidental cases of pregnancy) – you might want to bring up another human being in a way you feel you were unable to experience yourself with your own parents, it creates a stronger bond with your spouse, you want to mold your child into someone you always wished you could become but couldn’t, you love being around children, having children helps you relive your childhood, to care about someone else besides yourself, simply because you can – everything starts from “you”.
The biggest reason of all that perpetuates among most young adults would be simply because society seems to dictate and establish that having children is a compulsory milestone to be achieved at some point in our lives. Here are just some of the primary life milestones that seem to be mindlessly embedded in our psyche – find true love, marry your true love, bear babies – that’s the dream, life is complete. But what troubles me is that so many teenagers dream about achieving these goals and so much effort and time is being invested in dreaming, but they have not honestly questioned themselves the validity of these goals and whether this is the kind of life they actually want and need. To be honest, I think they’re simply chasing these goals just because they would feel that they’re losing out if they don’t (but more on this later). After realizing that, I wondered, what reason would be the right reason to bear children? To bring another soul into the world has to have more significance besides fulfilling your own desires or to conform to what people from time immemorial have been doing.
But that seems to be all there is to it. Bearing children in itself seems to dilute the significance of human life. It further convinces me that there really is no greater reason behind our presence and existence on Earth. How can there be, if the reasons behind our conception are so superficial? Besides that, it’s such a primitive desire to disperse your DNA as much as possible, our existence really boils down to primal instincts and shallow reasons. It makes me think that there really isn’t a greater, all-encompassing blueprint orchestrating the course of life with the meaning of life included in the fine print, we are simply a bunch of coincidences bumping into one another.
A continuation from the point I raised earlier, it doesn’t help that all that true love/soul-mate shit is so overtly emphasized by the media to the point where I think every person feels a void or sense of incompleteness if unable to meet their soul-mate. The cold hard truth is that for most people, it’s most likely that there isn’t going to be a soul-mate who will be dropped onto their laps. There isn’t some destined prince charming who will save you from your demise. There will always be people whom you’re compatible with, but I think it’s silly and even detrimental to categorize relationships into “meant to be” or “not meant to be”. You will always be faced with the choice on whether to continue working on the relationship and sticking it out with the person if you feel it is worth it, or just leave if you feel it is not. You have the power to make it a “meant to be” relationship if you choose to. Like I said earlier, there is no blueprint.
I really think if people start taking a step back and examine the reasons behind pursuing these dictated life goals, they will realize that these reasons are superficial and empty.
Plus, I think this entire deluded, idealistic vision of the perfect guy and the perfect romance is skewed and contradictory of the women who possess it. But more on that next time.
Oh no, for some odd reason my latest entry has disappeared into the black holes of cyberspace *confuzzled*
Bird Park
Overdue photos from the Bird Park (taken by Shane. Photography unfortunately probably isn’t my forte since cameras are related to technology, and when it comes to technology, I’m like one of those grandmas who never know how to operate a DVD player even after being told 10 times how to). The weather that day turned out to be so damn hot that I wondered how I’m still alive in Singapore after 19 years, I should be boiled like a chicken by now.
I’ve always wondered why bird shit is white. Isn’t that weird? Sometimes it’s black but it can be white too. I think if human faeces was white in colour it’d look a lot less gross.
My favorite part was the penguin enclosure. Because it had air-conditioning.
No but really, the penguins were the cutest.
…and there was air-conditioning.
Anyway, I caught the flu All my brain juices for this entry have been expelled from my body via my nose and mouth – mucus and coughing. Sigh. Nose – unblock I say!!!
TAC Adventure III
I tried to learn how to cycle, but I failed. I’m afraid it’s going to be one of those things that I just can’t get, like rollerblading and ice-skating, both of which I’ve tried multiple times to learn but failed. Skateboarding seems to be the only mode of transportation that involves wheels that I’m able to do (in terms of being able to balance on it while moving), even then I haven’t touched my skateboard in long while.
A certain someone *ahem* didn’t join us in the end, so Denise and I, both of whom have no idea how to cycle, tried to learn by ourselves. We kind of figured it’s something you can just somehow try and pick up by yourself, hah. After struggling around for about an hour, while cheekopek contruction workers sniggered at our feeble attempts, a Malay uncle (Uncle Man, pronounced as Mah-n) saw us and started to help us out. He was being kind of pervertish, and claimed he was just waiting for his 9 year old daughter to finish cycling with her friends, but in any case, he was pretty friendly, and I’m assuming that he was telling the truth. At the end of the 3 hours, we realized that I didn’t seem to be getting it, so I just enjoyed a long ride back to the bicycle rental shop on the back of his bicycle. I realize this makes me sound like a total spoilt brat, but I never realized how much fun it is to be on a bicycle! What a fantastic mode of transportation! Unfortunately it seems that other people will have to do the cycling for me.
So at the end of the day, I sort of learned how to ride a bicycle (I did kind of get it for a short while, but got too tired in the end to get it right) and got like a million cuts and bruises from the 10 times I fell (Shane’s response, “…How can you fall?!”). I got a particularly bad gash on the back of my calf, I don’t know from what. I got 2 huge scratches too that makes a big fat “X”, I don’t know what could have created that. Even though they look unsightly and they hurt like hell, I feel kind of accomplished, because these scars are a sign of an athlete!! …Or at least, a sign that I’ve done something physical, hah.
Been feeling quite off for the past week or so. I dunno, although I haven’t done much during the holiday, which everyone seems to be jabbing me for (I’m totally using this time to relax completely because I know I will never be able to ever again for the rest of my life, until retirement), a shit load has changed and happened over the past few months. This is probably one of the most happening years of my life so far. One day I was still a kid, and the next, I’m doing and deciding on things that only a 20-something year old and not a 19 year old should be concerned about. Sigh, just have to start getting used to this new chapter in my life…
Plus, I’m feeling a bit fluey and ate too many brownies, maybe that’s why I’m feeling particularly off now. Heh.
On a separate note, I’ve installed L4D2 into my laptop, so I can now kill zombies whenever I have the craving! I feel so awesome whenever I play with Amanda, Zhi Wei and Sam too, we’re not in the leagues of the pros yet, but it feels nice to have a team to play with and improve with. At least that’s one part of my life that doesn’t need to change or grow up yet.