I PwNzZ YoU
Oh right, and Merry Christmas too.
Recently, before every movie I watch, the same old song will start booming through to speakers.
Chicken Little song.
Bu pa bu pa yay yay yay la la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la la la. Ba lee pa HEE, ba lee pa HOO, ba lee pa HA HA. Blah blah blah blah yay yay yay yay.
Or something like that anyway.
Now it’s just stuck in my head, playing for the thousandth time.
It’s bad enough I have to listen to that chick song on television. People are actually making covers of it, for spongebob’s sake.
But after that nerdy chick’s techno song was over, it was Kong Kong time!
Kong Kong! I spent my christmas watching a big ape.
The movie was pretty good to me.
Sure, my bladder was screaming when the movie ended and there was a long que at the women’s toilet, but it was worth it.
Kong In a Blog: (Spoilers)
Jack Black (Can’t remember his onscreen name): Failing movie director
Ann: Hot babe who Kong loves
Kong: Bigass ape
Adrien Brody (In order not to mix up with J.B): Has hots for Ann. Writes plays
Jack Black: People don’t like my movies. Life sucks.
Ann: Lost my job. Life sucks.
Adrien: I have to work for Jack Black. Life sucks.
Kong: RAWR
J.B: Hey you, woman. You look good. Wanna come aboard to this yucky, I mean, totally groovy ship so we can film a movie about you and love?
Ann: Groovy! Hey. *points at Adrien* I love his work but he looks crappy.
Adrien: Hey she’s hot.
J.B: Look peeps, I’ve got this map which leads to an island. It’s real, I mean, the island’s called Skull Island after all, I mean, how perfect is that?
Ann: stares at Adrien
Adrien: stares at Ann
J.B: Oh fine. Be that way. To Skull Island!
Captain: Barnacles! Paint me red and slap me silly! There’s fog ahead! Life sucks! *steers ship blindly*
*ship bangs onto rock*
All: Yikes!
J.B: This place looks groovy. Oh hey! Look at these funky rocks, they kinda look like skulls. Haha, no wonder it’s called Skull Island! Perfect. Let’s shoot our movie here.
Cast: Sure.
*while walking through the skull-infested area, a lone tribe member appeared*
J.B: Look at that groovy kid. Here’s some chocolate man, thanks for welcoming us.
Adrien: He wants no chocolate, dude.
J.B: Of course he does, look at him. He’s hungry for it! *hands over chocolate*
*tribe member looks stoned*
*entire population turns up and starts attacking J.B and crew*
All: Arrgghh, life sucks!!
Captain & Crew: Here I am, peeps. *shoots bullets everywhere*
*everyone scurries back to the ship*
Adrien: Oh my barnacles, Ann’s gone!!
All: Barnacles! We all gotta go save her! *goes back to Skull Island*
Meanwhile…
Tribe members: Kong.. Kong.. Kong.. Kong.. Kong..
Ann: Squeak!
Tribe members: Kong.. Kong.. Kong.. Kong.. Kong..
*ties Ann’s arms to 2 polls and lowers her down to the other side*
Kong: Rawr! *grabs Ann*
Ann: Squeal!
[I'm getting bored. Here's the gist: The ship crew goes looking for Ann, some of 'em die. Ann is trying to escape Kong's clutches, but comes to realise that Kong's actually her friend when Kong killed about a gazillion other dinosaurs from eating her.]
*Kong and Ann sits and looks at the sunset*
Ann: Looks groovy.
Kong: *Grunt*
Night came…
Adrien: *stumbles upon Ann and Kong* Ann! Ann!
Ann: *wakes up* Gasp. *wiggles out of Kong’s hands*
Kong: RAWR! *swats at Adrien and big birds*
Ann & Adrien: Let’s escape. *climbs down vines*
Kong: Thinking: Hah, I’m big, fools. That means I can see you from here, losers* RAWR! *grabs Ann and Adrien*
[I'm bored again. They manage to lead Kong back to their ship where everyone was prepared and captured him. Despite Ann screaming NO!! throughout the entire time, she still ran away with Adrien Brody back onto the ship. Her brain and muscles are probably disconnected.]
Back In New York…
J.B: Ladies and Gentlemen. I bring you.. Kong!! All because of me, duh.
Kong: RAWR! *breaks chains*
Audience: Arrgghh life sucks. *runs away*
J.B: Barnacles, my career’s over.
Ann: Oh my gosh, I can somehow feel that.. that.. Kong is standing on his backfeet, trashing a fat man with his fist at the junction of Wonky Avenue and Flooshy Road right now! He’s destroying town too!
Kong: RAWR! *smooshes cars*
Ann: Yo.
Kong: Grunt.
*Kong and Ann play on the frozen ice, then climbs up Empire state building to see the sunrise. That’s right, Kong went destroying the city for about6-8 hours before the army actually realised they had to take action*
Kong: *beats chest lightly*
Ann: Yeah. Groovy.
*airplanes shoot Kong down*
Ann: Banacles!
Kong: Groan. *falls off building*
Adrien: *waits for cue* Here I am, Ann! Sorry I couldn’t do anything about saving Kong, I was actually just waiting down there for him to die first, oops, I mean, I really tried to you know, come up here as fast as possible.
Ann: *hug*
Down there…
Reporter 1: I wonder why he climbed up the building?
Reporter 2: Yeah. Wow. This big hairy animal-of-unknown-name sure is dumb!
J.B: It was beauty killed the beast (Huh?)
-The End-
My dad went, “I don’t think Kong should’ve died. They should’ve had like, environmentally friendly societies come to bring him back to that island, yah?”
Not bad.
Then he made Kong jokes all day long, even while eating his sushi. He moulded his blob of wasabi into “Kong”.
Dad: Okay, here’s Kong.. *stabs 2 holes for eyes with chopsticks* He’s got like, a flat nose right.. *smashes wasabi* Then here’s the girl.. *removes a tiny chunk of wasabi and places it in front of “Kong”* Here’s his hand.. *breaks off some chunks* There’s Kong!
Kong pwnz you.
yo.yo.
eat my shorts!
hah
ooo
i like this =)