Captain Planet Is Evil. He Steals Hairy Bananas.
I typed out one whole fat ass post but it somehow got [DUN DUN DUUUN] erased.
I had another funky dream which involved flying carriages, a wrestling match and the lottery. All these weird dreams are probably a way to ventilate the stress. Some get pimples slash suicidal slash neurotic slash fat when stressed, or in Macbeth’s case, go on a killing spree. Isn’t this healthy.
The spit on the ground, dirty pavements and smelly toilets led me to conclude that I dreamt that I was situated in a toilet somewhere in China.
Well, really.
Someone gave me orders on collecting the bottles which were littered on the floor.
I picked them up, and saw that there was alphabet soup swimming in one of the bottles.
I stuffed the bottle into my pocket while thinking, “I’ll give it to Jimmy.” Who in the blue hell is Jimmy, I do not know. Bloody random name.
Suddenly, the surroundings switched from the toilet to a huge, cold arena.
I walked to the front row to take my seat while realising to my annoyance that the wrestling ring was too high. So high that I would have to tilt my head 90 degrees if I were to watch the match, kind of like sitting front row in a cinema except tilt your head 50 degrees more.
I took a seat next to Lizard [Lizard watching WWE? Hahhaha] and watched the match between Triple H and The Hurricane. The last thing they were doing before I turned my attention away was bitch slapping, in fact, The Hurricane bitch slapping Triple H.
GOOOO HURRICANE!
Of all wrestlers to dream of, it just had to be Triple H. That fat greek nose, steriod infested body. Eugh.
In the midst of the match, Pecky walked up to me and he was wearing everything in white. Nike, white everything. He said something which I’ve blanked out but I got up from my seat and followed him out of the arena, taking along this humongous striped shirt with me.
We stepped out of the arena and.. Into my room? My mum entered the room and started questioning Pecky’s last name. “Lim,” he replied [finally something that makes sense] while hiding behind my closet door [now that doesn't make sense again]
So my mum started rambling about how she was going to use the word ‘Lim’ in her next 4-D.
My mother doesn’t buy 4-Ds and how the in heck can you use letters in a 4-D…? Never mind. It’s like asking why do pigs fly. They just do.
I left the room, incredulously, and I was seated in a huge black carriage.
Someone was sitting next to me, I don’t know who, the prescence just could be felt.
The carriage started to speed along the road, and it drove closer and closer to the left edge of the road.
I looked beyond the road and there it was, a cliche scenario of a falling dream, a huge vast of trees and rocks waiting for us, 10 km below.
So it turned out that the road was a narrow and steep cliff.
Suddenly, the road was cut off. WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIIIEEE.
But we didn’t. Dum dum DUUM! Flying carriages to the rescue.
In mid-air, I yelled to no one in particular, “CAPTAIN PLANET!”
Captain planet’s not a stranger to my dreams. The last time I dreamt of him, he swooped down to steal Eliza Thornberry’s hairy banana.
Darwin, her pet monkey made a huge racket.
It turns out that he was evil too, because his eyes turned into red laser beams.
That’s where I got ‘Hairy Bananas’ from.
So the carriage landed safely on the other side, and it continued speeding very close to the edge of the road.
I was still in panic that we were going to fall anyway, because we were driving nearer and nearer to the edge.
I screamed like a mad cow, upon this, the humongous striped shirt which I carried in the arena appeared once again. It hugged me.
Wakey wakey.
Captain Planet’s a true inspiration. Indeed he is. Save the environment, kids!
He would’ve shot through the ratings if only he wasn’t blue, gay, superman-ripoff and appeared more often than the sub characters.
For God’s sake, it’s called ‘Captain Planet’, you don’t just occupy three quarters screen time with the Planeteers then pull in Captain Planet during the last 5 minutes.
Being blue means gay. It just does. There’re certain colours which your skin should never be: Purple, Blue, Pink or Hot pink.
Look at his outfit, the underwear worn outside. Superman wannabe. Only Superman can pull off such underwear.
But still, I used to watch Captain Planet when I was in primary 5.
It didn’t really educate me much about the environment, all I knew was that Captain Planet was kicking some serious Pollutive ass and the credits song was catchy. It’s been running in my head for the past 4 years.
Captain Planet, he’s our hero,
Gonna take pollution down to zero,
He’s our powers magnified,
And he’s fighting on the planet side
Six Feet Under
Happy Belated Birthday, Loser B! My gift to you - A cold from the rain.
Uggghhh my eyes are regurgitating tears everywhere.
Listening to Sia’s Breathe Me makes it even worse, the atmosphere’s so sad and beautiful.
Because.
I just finished watching the last episode of Six Feet Under.
That’s it, it really is the most fantastic show to ever conquer televisions everywhere. I think it may have actually made an impact on my life, it’s that strong and amazing. It’s such a shame they’re putting an end to it after 5 seasons, it should go on forever.
Most tv shows end terribly, you’d be thinking “Shit, what was that?” after the final episode, but not this one. It has such finality, a solemn message about life and death. The entire core theme is about life and death, and that’s how it ended, that’s why it’s so perfect. It makes us realise how mortal we all are, how real death is.
The last few scenes showed the how the future of every character, and the date that they die, while Claire was driving her car in the present.
Like a flashback, except into the future [err... yeah.]
Those scenes were really fantastic, ARGH. I wanna pull my hair out from such perfection, instead it’s crying. It’s so perfect, beautiful, that you cry. It’s this external force of love speaking from thin air, it just exists and it consumes you. Maybe that’s how Christians feel about God, but what do I know.
Err. Sounds kinda of stupid, and currently I look crazy, but really! It’s such a great show, everyone should watch it.
But viewer’s discretion’s advised, there’re gay sex scenes, boobs, dicks, vulgarities etc. I bought all 5 seasons’ DVDs, it’s that good man.
I’ve watched the ending twice and I’m still sobbing, I gonna drown myself in my own body fluid tonight when I rewatch it another 10 times.
Argh I’m beginning to cry again. It’s so saddening.
Oh, and also, if you feel like crying, listen to Gackt’s Last Day on his Seventh Night album. Made me cry like a baby.
It’s Japanese and you won’t understand a thing he says but the entire point is the music itself which will move you. I think next time I’ll make a post about things that will, or might, make you cry. It’s good to cry, get in touch with your feminine side, and release some body fluids.
Anyway, today’s geography paper was crap. It reeks crap. It seeps crap. It spurts crap.
Actually it wasn’t that bad, we just didn’t have enough time to complete it. Who did? Well, none other than Yong G and Yong Quan, the 2 Yongs. Ming Jie even began to cry because there wasn’t enough time. Strange.
I messed up for the grid bearing question too, disgusting. I measured the bearing at the wrong point. Sarah was astonished when she heard my answer of 226 degrees.
Band of blood in the brain.
And of course, Mrs Tan just had to make us stay back till 3pm for her chemistry lesson.
The schedule was even worse than a normal school day, let alone the Friday schedule.
She even tried to work some reverse psychology on us, “If you don’t want to stay, leave please, I’m not forcing you to stay.” Some people actually took what she said and left. OO. Rebel.
Speaking of which, Aiyan and I got caught for ponning P.E. Sarah didn’t, the most prominent one out of our entire gang!
We were all happily hiding in the toilet, hoping that the frizzy haired janitor wouldn’t “catch us” again, when Paula called.
Me: Helloooo?
Paula: Julia? Mr Singh is looking for you and Aiyan!
Me: What? Why? How?
Paula: He was just like, looking through the class list and called out your name and Aiyan’s, and I just said you guys are still changing.
Me: Huh?! How could he randomly pick out our names by coincidence? He doesn’t even recognise who the hell we are, he’s bloody ignorant.
Paula: I don’t know, he just asked where were the both of you.
Me: Oh shit. *speaks to Aiyan* Bal is looking for us. Paula told him that we’re still changing.
Sarah: Oh my god. Is he looking for me?
Aiyan: Oh my god. Why didn’t she just say we were ABSENT?!?!?! Wah lau!
Me: I don’t know! Oh shit lah.
Sarah: Is he looking for me?
Me: *speaking to Paula* Oh damnit, what should we do? Is the whole class waiting?
Paula: Just come down, give him an excuse. No, the class is in the gym.
Sarah: Is he looking for me?!
Me: *speaking to Aiyan* Aiyan, let’s both go down and tell him that I um, had my period, so I stained and we had to go all the way to the ground toilet to buy pads, okay?
Aiyan: But I didn’t bring my P.E shirt!
Me: Oh yah. [The reason why we ponned that P.E session in the first place was because Aiyan forgot to bring her shirt]
Sarah: Is he looking for me?!?!
Me: ARRRGGGHHH
Aiyan: Oh shit what to do?!
Me: Borrow Sarah’s P.E shirt.
Sarah: IS HE LOOKING FOR ME?!
Me: No, he’s not!
Sarah: But my shirt is humongous!
Aiyan: Never mind lah!
Me: Just wear the bloody shirt!
Sarah: Okay I’ll go get the shirt.
Me: *speaking to Paula* Okay, we’ll be there soon.
3 of us: AARGGHHHH *run like headless chickens*
Fragmanted and disjointed conversation by chickens. When Aiyan returned with Sarah’s shirt and changed, she looked so retarded because the shirt was like, 2 sizes too big for her.
Then she said something in the cubicle which calls for doom music: DUN DUN DUUUUN
“SHIT! I’M WEARING MY HOME SHORTS! Oh hey Sarah, your shirt smells nice.”
Sarah: “Oh yeah, all my clothes smell like that.”
-_____-”
She ran out out of the cubicle with Sarah’s shirt and skirt on. So we adjusted the plan and decided that Aiyan should be the one having her period, so she stained her shorts and had to buy pads.
Period does have its advantages when you have a male teacher.
We ran down to the assembly plaza, and Singh was looking around. He actually saw us, but didn’t recognise us.
My jaw practically dragged on the ground. Such an ignorant loser.
So we approached him and told him the period reason. His reaction was doubtful, skeptical. He kept asking us questions, and we realised that the reason why he had called out our names was because our 2.4km run timings weren’t recorded.
He nearly threatened to make us run again [If he did, I swear I would've kicked him in his nuts and run off, screaming, "Pedophile on the loose!" and get him sacked. That's how much I hate running] but thank god he managed to convince him that we did run [Not a lie]
Christ, how shitty. He even said, “I didn’t even see the 2 of you during yesterday’s P.E lesson. Where were you?”
We protested strongly that we were present. The truth was, we really were.
Except we slacked at the area where Bal was unable to find us. So in a way, we sort of ponned P.E, but not exactly either.
He asked, “So, what did we do yesterday?”
“Softball. In the field!” Thank god we went for that lesson.
He still remained doubtful, but I guess our alibi was strong enough.
After all, a man can’t accuse the period cycle, can he, because he doesn’t understand. He should try it sometime.
Sigh, no more ponning sessions for a long time… Only until Bal gets used to our faces then we can resume our sessions, until then, it’ll just be regular P.E.
Shi Xiang’s been ponning his lesson for an entire month and he never noticed. What a great teacher, huh.
And here it is:
Loser A and Loser B
Here’s a riddle:
One day, it was raining. Loser A didn’t have an umbrella, Loser B did.
Why did Loser B get drenched from the rain while Loser A didn’t?
Think!
Think more.
Think again.
Here’s the brilliant answer.
Answer: Loser A was really pissed off at the heavy rain, thus, Loser B offered to share the umbrella with Loser A. However, Loser B wanted a bargain. Loser A had to carry Loser B’s oversized, 10 tonned bag while carrying her own 10 tonned bag and file. In addition, Loser B made Loser A keep his handphone as well, so that it would not get wet in the rain and spoil. Therefore, even though Loser A had to lug around 20 tonnes worth of books around the entire school, Loser B had to provide shelter for Loser A with the umbrella, so Loser A stayed dry while Loser B got drenched.
The reason why I label these 2 losers as losers is because they didn’t know that the back gate, which provided shelter all the way to the bus stop, was opened.
So these 2 losers pain-stakingly walked out of the front gate to walk one whole round around the school.
For the slow ones, I was Loser A, by the way. Loser B’s bag practically dislocated my shoulder.
Loser B’s getting me an umbrella as a birthday present next year. Make it pink, if you want to die.
Speaking of rain, today’s rain was WOW WOW WOW.
The lightning was so sharp that when it tore through the sky, it’ll just blind you even at the corner of your eye.
The thunder which proceeded was really like, CRACK, BOOM. Wow. Echoing the thunder were girls’ screams which were just as ear-breaking.
HAH. I JUST KILLED AN ANT. SQUISH SQUISH.
When I’m Not Studying…
My brain’s fried from doing A math, so I’m doing some non-exerting brain excercises aka doing whatever that is available on the internet.
Shit, I smell garlic bread.
Name 20 people that you’re thinking of right now. Do not read the questions below until you have filled in all 20 names. After completing, tag 5 people’s boards to get them to do this as well. Have fun!
1. Sarah Thomas; Ponning Queen
2. Paula
3. Aiyan
4. Pecky
5. Colin
6. Lizard
7. Eunice
8. Edward
9. Bal; bald P.E teacher. Haw.
10. Denise
11. Yong Quan
12. Teng Hui
13. Shi Xiang
14. Fang Lynn
15. Yong Jie
16. Lim Pon
17. Chee Yang
18. Mr Eio
19. Darence
20. Terence Foo
1. How did you meet 14?
Back when we were in secondary 1, 1C.
2. What would you do if you never met 1?
I wouldn’t be having so much fun during chemistry and physics! Haha. I wouln’t be making fun of [censored] so much either though.
Plus, my ponning sessions would not have taken place. The Ponning Gang could never have existed! All hail Sarah.
3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
Whoa. My P.E teacher and Terence Foo? Total opposites.
Bal’s world revolves around running, Terence loathes it and he hates Bal anyway. But hey, opposites attract eh?
4. Did you ever like 19?
I used to.
5. Would 6 & 17 make a good couple?
Pon and Chee Yang. Well, they’re both females, so they’d have to be lesbians. Not bad, if they were. Chee Yang could be the girly one in the realtionship and Pon would be the loud one. Perfect. Cheeyang, if you’re reading this, JUST JOKING. LAUGH.
6. Would you ever date 4?
Heh, a coincidental question.
7. Do you think 8 is attractive?
He looks fine. I think he looked groovy during that time he wet his entire head and combed his hair all to one side. Gross and yucky, but groovy man.
8. Tell me something about 7.
MONAHEY! $$ Nah, she’s one of my best friends.
She’s just like me; hates the bimbos, hates running, loves drawing, flunks chinese and come to think of it, we’re almost identical. Except she’s shorter and has a trillion bucks more than me.
9. Do you know any of 12’s family members?
Nope. Except he shows me loads of pictures of his dogs, which he unnecessarily informed me that they have their periods once a year.
Well, Sid the Sloth loves his dogs. 
10. What’s 2’s favourite?
Favourite what? Stupid question. Probably getting her stuff confiscated during English, hah. She likes drawing though.
11. What would you do if 18 confessed that he/she likes you?
I’d report to the police and kick him. Pedophile on the loose! But this is a gross scenario, he’s my teacher.
12. What language does 15 speak?
English. He’s a fickle one though, he knows how to speak other weirdo languages too, the last time I heard him speak.
Maybe it’s Star Trek language.
13. Who is 9 going out with?
Terence Foo, duh. Nah seriously, his Thai wife.
14. How old is 16 now?
Lim Pon. 15 years old.
15. When’s the last time you talked to 13?
Today in school. I commented on his healthy gums, he told me to shut up. Shi Xiang’s the man.
16. What’s 3’s favourite band/singer?
Err.. I have no idea. I don’t think she has any.
17. Describe 3.
Toothpick. She can weave through crowds and I’d be stuck somewhere behind yelling for her to wait.
Despite the abundant amount of food she’s able to put away, it just seems as though the more she eats, she thinner she gets. Quoted from her. I think it’s true.
18. Would you ever date 20?
Terence again. NO, he’s with Bal.
19. Is 15 single?
Not to my knowledge, but I bet he’s dating Hamtaro or a life-sized Hi-5 [the TV show] poster.
20. What’s 10’s last name?
Chew. It should be Oink~
21. Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 11?
*buggy eyed* That would be just weird man, NO. He’s nice though, he lets me copy his chinese homework.
22. What school does 8 go to?
Tanjong Katong Secondary School.
23. Where does 6 live?
Choa Chu Kang. I still have yet to be invited to her house-warming party.
It’s been 4 months overdue.
24. What’s your favourite thing about 5?
Heh, Colin.. Err, that he’s treating Lizard well? [he better be] kidding. And he’s sensitive.
Most dudes I know hate being sensitive, don’t be! It’s not sissy. Girls don’t like macho, heart-of-stone guys, girls like macho, sensitive dudes.
So listen to emo songs to get your emotions worked up and work out to tone your muscles.
25. Have you seen 1 naked?
HAHA I hope never to. Even if I did, we’d both be laughing till we piss in our pants, or in her case, just piss. I’ll prefer her clothed though.
______________
HAHA, I’m laughing my head off at Sarah’s sms:
Me: YO SARAH. Tomorrow we’ve got english test, but we’ve got a chemistry practical too. Which one to go to? =/
Sarah: Omg you are so kidding me man! What’s the english test on anyway?
Me: Haha. It’s on situational writing. But what to do?! Damn. Chickens.
Sarah: HAH. This mind-boggling situation calls for the expertise of the great Sarah Thomas… Sarah says.. GO FOR CHEMISTRY!!! Who the hell gives a shit about situational writing anyway. The chemistry practicaly is loads more important than this don’t you think? I thought parts of it if important for O levels too.
Fine, chemistry practical it shall be.
Anyway, I had another dream, but I can hardly remember what it was about.
I only remember wandering around in a toy store, and I found a huge shelf stuffed full of pokemon plushie toys.
I remember taking a dislike to the pokemon toys because they felt rough. They were like, electrobes or however it’s spelt.
But I found the heavenly toy [in my dream]:
Yeah, I pulled out a green penguin plushie. It wore a pink tiara and had the words ‘Starbucks Choc’ printed on it. It had those weird eyes too.
I pulled it out and hugged it and felt so happy. Weird.
I think I was dreaming of another version of the penguin plushie Lizard gave me. It must be haunting me.
Pokemons suck.
Friday, It’s That Imbecile
Happy [Belated] Birthday, Eunice!
Initially, I wanted to post this entry to patronise someone. Yah, a new person to get pissed off at everyday.
Monday, it?s that idiot. Tuesday, it?s that bimbo. Wednesday, it?s that shithead. Etcetra. Usually it?s just a passing thought, but today..
But then I decided not to. Why?
I realised that my bitching will not be heard by the person, and even though I confront the person, it?ll be like talking to a mosquito.
You tell it off, you smack it, but it just won?t get the hint and it?ll continue to suck your blood to annoy you. So isn?t best to leave the room and spray the best, most awesomeness invention of all; Baygon? I don?t know what Baygon is referred to in real life though, not yet. I?ll learn soon.
And I think excessive bitching is bad for the health.
I have to say though, people who think they?re deep when they?re not are loZers.
All they do is contradict themselves with their ?deep? statements [when they?re actually rambling nonsensical, long-winded words] and smack a label on themselves: ?high-class? You?re not ?high-class? when you self-proclaim it, it?s just sad man.
Being english-speaking doesn?t make you a rider on the ?high-class? wagon.
Sure, dislike the chinese language if you?re doing badly in it or unable to comprehend it well, but don?t loathe its origins or the people who speak it. That?s just plain arrogant.
The ‘high-class’ status doesn’t even exist unless you acknowledge it.
For God?s sake, show some respect.
There?s no existing equation of: Chinese-speaking people = The shit beneath my feet + I?m more high and mighty.
Any language they speak in does not affect or contribute to their character.
I have chinese-speaking friends who aren?t narrow-minded at all. There?s absolutely no link in connecting Chinese-speaking people to idiots.
These are the people whose worlds revolve around social status, money and fame.
Myopic and shallow views.
It really makes me cringe in disgust when they think being Eurasian, using money as if its of no value, wanting to pay for ?high-class fun? [if there even is such a thing. But apparently, it exists to them] and follow every single trend [yet insisting that they?re not being sheep] is the key to high social status.
It all boils down to prejudice and well, just plain stupidity/shallow-ness
These 2 factors just sums up to one word to describe their situation: Sad.
Now, THAT?S only a minuscule segment of what bitching I had in mind. I have so much more to share, but nah..
I?m so annoyed that I can squeeze the fluff out of 50 stress balls.
Ooo, stress balls. The smiley face ones which constantly remind me with their printed statement: It takes 17 muscles to smile and 43 muscles to frown!
Anyway, moving on to 3C?s adventures.
NAPFA lasted for 3 periods. It was one hell of fun 3 periods. All of us [well, the lazy ones] cheated for sit-ups, the most obvious station to cheat at. Aiyan and I did 15 or 16 sit-ups each, and doubled it. Ta dah, 30+ sit-ups each! Immediate A.
Cheated for standing broad jump. Erm, yikes. I can?t tolerate the fact that I can?t jump for nuts.
Everyone else is just prancing away with 2 meters between their prances and I can barely jump to half the distance.
So I cheated. Defying the value of TK: Integrity. Looks like I lack some, huh.
I helped Aiyan and Jaclyn cheat for their sit-and-reach.
Just like my inability to prance, their inability to stretch their arms parallels my weakness.
The difficulty was that when it came to Jaclyn?s turn aka my turn, Bal was sitting in between the sit-and-reach thingys.
His eyes were practically glued and ice-beam-frozen to the girls? queue, this exemplifies everyone?s statement of him being a pervert. HAH.
He barely glanced at the boy?s queu, so much that Paula helped the guys to cheat. Oh Bal.
So to avoid any misfortune, Jaclyn scratched her name out and put mine instead. Hahahahhahahahah.
It didn?t really matter though, my ponning sessions with Sarah and Aiyan has further erased his vague memory of me anyway.
Then afterwards, Jaclyn scracted my name off and wrote hers again. The guy checking the scores would be weirded out eh.
Anyway, somewhere in the middle of the NAPFA test, my nail broke?! Can?t pin-point when it broke, it just did.
But ouch, now I know how it feels to break a nail. It hurts like pouring acid onto your eyeballs, it bleeds internally too. Yuck, what a gross sight.
The way Jaclyn ran for her shuttle run kind of reminded me of how Navin would probably run.
Err.. A very angry Navin. Haha. Just joking.
Huanwen, as usual, has been slacking.
He emerged from his 6th and finaly round during the 2.4km run by strolling, his face looking as if he?ll murder anything that comes to his sight. Bal screamed at him, claiming that H.W had 5 minutes to complete his final round to pass, but he strolled all the way instead.
Aiyan snorted and said, ?Maybe he?s too sleepy to run.?
Err, it?s just me, but I laughed away at that joke. It?s ironic in a funny way, isn?t it? Too sleepy to run?
Then Bal yelled at him:
?I can CRAWL in 5 minutes!?
Then I had one of those Ally Mcbeal moments, guffawing to myself at the thought of Bal crawling.
I doubt he?d be able to crawl one round in 5 minutes. He?d start whining about the friction which will tear the hair off his legs halfway through.
2.4km run was.. Well, I won?t go into details. While running with Paula, I saw TX, and yelled across the assembly plaza, ?HI STAR LUMP!? but he didn?t hear. So I pretty much looked like a running goondu screaming about lumpy stars to thin air. Thanks.
During math, Vincent Tan suddenly [like, VERY suddenly] pounced onto Huanwen?s table, slamming it and yelling, ?HAH!?
His purpose was to wake Huanwen up [impossible task. He even sleeps when he stands] but it just ended making the entire class scream in shock and unison, except Oh Sleepy One, Huanwen.
I was like, ?AHHHH? when he did that, everyone else too. The entire classroom like, jumped.
But Huanwen merely lifted his head in a dying swan manner and stared at Vincent Tan with groggy eyes.
Christ.
I like the way Sarah has integrity and doesn?t cheat/lie. Well, not as often as the rest of us. I admire that.
Too bad it just takes so much energy to say no to the devil in you.
Women are Weird?
I just found this long-forgotten [even before Liz and Col got together] picture of the Almighty God; Calvin
I wonder at what age will PMS stop. Yet after PMS, there’s menopause.
Sucks to be a woman. Too sensitive + we bleed + uterus used as storage lockers = Woman!
Ms Wang got bloody [No pun intended. Wait, pun intended! Hawhaw!] PMS-sy.
She picked up her things and left the classroom.
The reason was confuzzling though. We weren’t make as much noise, so I’m just assuming it was Yong Jie’s question of, “What’s factorisation?” which drove her out. Nah, not blaming him though We got a free 10 minutes.
Paula and Ming Jie went after her, but she refused to come back. Ooo, PMS-sy.
I wonder why some teachers become teachers, despite them knowing how low their tolerance level is and what their reactions to annoying kiddies would be like.
Walking away doesn’t help much, but it does cut across your stand pretty clearly though. Maybe we should walk away when we’re stuck in crappy situations more often.
Speaking of teachers, Mrs Poon said another strange thing. She was discussing the poem ‘Decomposition’ with us, it’s about a beggar in Bombay whom the author happens to come upon. One of the stanzas depicted the passing crowd as uncaring and was immune to such sights.
So Mrs Poon said something like, “…Don’t you notice it? Life makes us immune to such things. There’s another poem about a little girl who cries when she sees the autumn leaves falling, but the author feels sad because when she grows up, she will lose this innocence. Like, when we enter a cinema, laughing with friends, we don’t think about the poor who are dying outside! Isn’t it sad.”
We get what her message is, but her example was f-ing hilarious.
The part about the poem about the little girl crying was like, really deep and inspiring. Then she suddenly broke the atmosphere by mentioning cinemas and the dying :S
Aiyan and I kept laughing at every word she said, yikes.
I mean, I don’t know.. When you enter the cinema, make it a point to think about the beggars in Bombay? It just sounded funny.
I swear, the next time I enter a cinema, I’ll be thinking of what she said.
Hmm.
I think I’ve been churning out redundant entries these few months.
I’m kind of sick of making fun of act cUteZ girls anyway. Old news.
I came to the realisation that some are actually quite nice in real life, but of course, sometimes you get the ones whose real personalities parallel to the act CutEz behaviour you observe.
And there’re complaints about why isn’t there a tagboard. Heh heh, I’m lazy and school doesn’t help by making me feel like dying in my sleep everyday when I arrive back home.
So I’ll just be writing redundant crap everyday until the holidays maybe. Good luck reading my shit.
F for Singapore
“What’s your name?”
“Chan Fang Lynn. F for Fan.”
“Oh, F for Singapore?”
Pizza delivery guys can’t spell for nuts. F for Singapore! New word!
Julien, Aiyan, FL and I decided to order pizza into the school when we found to our irritating horror the BAL was literally locking the entire student body in the school until 5.30pm.
BAL. BAAAL. Sickening sound to it, sickening man to accompany it as well.
By the way, this message goes out to the SUCKERZ who thought my previous entry’s password was ‘hairy bananas’.
Haha, just kidding. But it has something to do with bananas. I just love bananas, don’t you.
Actually it was ‘hairybananas’.
But I realised what a stupid thing that was to do, since my msn nick announces to the world about hairy bananas. So I changed it.
Darence gave me some perception. Then he said:
“Maybe in your room of friends, it’s full already. Then he’s fat. So when he leaves, 3 people can come in?”
Those who read the previous post will get it. I thought it was super funny.
Anyhoo.
Schools have such a long way to go. When they’ve reached the point where instilling fear in students in order to accomplish what is to be done is no longer needed, as in, the students are allowed to do what they please with the full understanding of their choices, only then will schools fulfill their actual purpose anyway. Er, that’s what I think.
It’s really quite a drastic act to actually lock us all in. I get really bothered by stuff like this, don’t know why.
It’s as if they’re forcing you to have a good time. There really isn’t any point when the results you get are grumbling students.
Once again, another example of how the process doesn’t seem to matter. I think it does though.
Not that I’m saying I didn’t have a good time, [FAN-BLOODY-TABULOUS TIME!] but the whole concept behind it is terrible.
They tried to make the event hip-happening and everything by blasting emo/rap music [Eg. Pussy Cat Dolls etc]. But the thing was that they’d cut the song off halfway and start a new song everytime, and the additional noise doesn’t help the already ear-bursting noise the students make.
Anyhoo, FL and I got quite ticked off that we were missing tution, so we tried to formulate plans on escaping.
Then Huanwen’s voice echoed in my head! He had been going on and on about escaping by climbing over the Scout’s shed.
We went there, and surprise surprise, people were flocking around the area as well, planning their escape.
This guy nearly escaped. But the barb wire prevented him from doing so, DRATS.
The good thing was that Huanwen managed to escape. He climbed up onto the Scout’s shed roof, walked across it and jumped off the other side. There’s still a black gate to get over, so he managed to pull himself over. My god, that bloody tiny toot ninja. He’s a genius.
While we were musing about what to do, Mrs Chee, our chemistry teacher, caught us
Mrs Chee: You four! C’mere!
Us: We’re not doing anything!
Mrs Chee: Yeah right. But you thought of it, right.
Aiyan: *blurts out the truth, blah blah* ….. I was um, thinking about chemistry!
Mrs Chee: Cut the crap *whacks Aiyan with roll of paper*
After that, the DM came walking along. Something about us wanting to escape came up, and she doomed her voice upon us, “Even GIRLS want to do this sort of thing? COME HERE…”
I swear, I never knew the words ‘come here’ could sound so intimidating and finite.
When the DM says it, you’d feel like peeing in your pants.
But Mrs Chee to the rescue! Thank god.
She explained some excuse to her for us while the 4 of us tried to run away unnoticeably.
We came up with dumb plans to escape:
1) Jump onto and cling on one of the cars which were leaving school
2) We asked Mrs Guna to give us a ride out of school
3) Hop into the back of the ambulance which left its backdoors opened.
4) Build a ladder out of the logs in the Scout’s shed and climb over
5) Exchange uniforms with Zu Kai’s MJC one. We’d walk out one by one then throw the uniforms back over for them to change. That would be gross though, because at one point when we exchange back the uniforms, we’ll all be naked in public.
So then we decided to order a pizza.
We were trying to figure out the school’s postal code when we suddenly walked past the announcement notice boards and smack right there was the school’s address. Haha!
We wandered off to the front gate and called for pizza. When the pizza dude asked for the address, we went, “OH SHIT!” and ran all the way back to the notice boards to get the postal code.
FL: *panting* it’s 130 Haig Road, [postal code, I forgot. Ironic].
Pizza Dude: Isn’t it.. A school?
FL: Yah, Tanjong Katong Secondary School
I thought it was funny because we went through so much fuss on obtaining the school’s postal code when we could’ve simply told the guy which school to deliver to.
At last, the pizza dude came! We sneaked the pizza into one of the empty classrooms and devoured it like pigs.
After we finished, we went up to the hall to watch FL play table tennis.
Some time later, WHACK. A badminton racket came flying down and smacked Royce’s head. his spectacles broke into 2.
His left lense just split into halves. His new emo specs! 
Evonne started acting as if she was Royce’s girlfriend and started scolding the sec 1D guy. But the guy didn’t even have the decency to apologise. Sigh, kids these days…
I didn’t even realise that today was actually Sports Day [Yeah, people. SURPRISE SURPRISE!], except they’ve renamed it in order to honour the school’s 50th anniversary.
I bet it was Bal’s smart alec idea, he really sprouts out nonsensical shit sometimes.
And my oh my, guess which class came in top for the upper sec games?
3C, DUH
Haha in your face LOZERS, with a capital ‘Z’! This is the utterly most bananaish KEWL thing ever since sliced bread.
Last year, 2C was the lower secondary champion. We practically screamed out lungs out and clamoured all over the trophy. Nostalgia. C all the way!
Gold for volleyball
Gold for relay race
Silver for basketball
Silver for badminton
Silver for table tennis
When we started cheering and Rui Wen waved the trophy about in the air, I just bloody fell in love with my class. I think we all did. Or maybe it’s just me.
It was the whole class spirit thing.
It’s like one of those scenes which can be played in slow motion, everyone in hyper mode, jumping and yelling with the ‘We Are The Champions’ song playing in the background. Drama.
I think in those split seconds, it’s pure love.
It’s not something coming from you, or from another, it’s just this strong, unspeakable force in between.
Okay that sounded like utter crap, I just love 3C!
I just love it when I love. It feels sooo good. You’re just consumed by this feel-good feeling. Mmm.
The world doesn’t need money, it needs love!
Well, money would help too.. But love comes first!
And of course, pictures…
The trophy! It’s covered with our dirty and sweaty fingerprints now.
The trophy + medals = 3C CHAMPIONS HELLO.
They’re all carrying Rui Wen, haha. Weird. That’s Mr Tchen Ah Huat! AHHHH. His legs were surprisingly hairy.
Anyway, got these pictures from blogs around.
_________________
I had another strange dream.
There were gaps in between which I’ve already forgotten, but I’ve got the gist of it anyway.
It involves peeing and beaches.
Julien, Janice and I [Alliteration of 'J'. I wonder if that was a coincidence] were walking along a road.
We were heading to Ahmad Ibrahim Secondary School [Everything I dream about now involves Pecky/Colin/Calvin. I had another dream where 6 of us, including Liz and Eunice, were all living in a spaceship and we ran out of clothes to change into]
The funny thing is that I’ve never seen the school before, yet I’m dreaming of it.
Actually, I think I dreamt of my school, except it was AISS. Makes any sense?
So we walked down the stairs and out of the corner of my eye I could see people in fluorescent pink shirts playing soccer.
That would be TK’s soccer players, yep, pink shirts. Except they were from AISS in my dream.
The 3 of us proceeded to enter the girls’ toilet. We actually started oohing and aahing at it. It was just chocolate brown all over.
I entered one of the cubicles, it’s a big one, like the handicap type. A shower curtain surrounded the toilet bowl itself.
I pushed the shower curtain open and started to pee? Yep, I dreamt of peeing.
Technically it was just sitting on the toilet bowl.
Suddenly, the 3 of us were on the beach supposedly behind the school.
I was still sitting on the toilet, the shower curtain surrounded me, now the cubicle’s vanished.
I looked up, this huge, impending blue wave peeked behind the shower curtain and it was looming above me.
There wasn’t any panic though.
I squeezed my eyes shut as the water crashed down and the wave washed me onto shore.
We were all sprawled across the dry sand with the sun beating down on us. The sun felt good.
Suddenly, the sky grew dark as we picked ourselves up.
We made a fire and sat around it. I was looking at a photograph in my hands, except now I don’t remember what was in it.
Wakey wakey.
Protected: An Emo Title
Nostalgia
It’s the WEEKEND. LATE NIGHT POTATO CHIPS.
Warning: Narcisstic post.
Hoho, finally bought a new wallet to replace my lost one.
It looks like the V for Vendetta comic, awkward dialogue and faded pictures. And the dude looks like a girl. Dudirl. Girude.
Speaking of V for Vendetta, I’ve downloaded the comic off the net. Muaha. The colour and illutration suck though, and Eevy was a prostitute-wannabe. No, I don’t mean that as an insult, she really is one in the story.
While stuffing all my important/meangingful stuff into the wallet, I realised just how much crap I had to fit into it.
When I was done, I could barely close it because it was so fat with crap, and it’s not even money.
I just realised how many memories can be stored in just that little leather pouch. I see FL’s wallet and it’s exploding [haha] with her own stuff.
I think it’s really neat, like, keeping little snippets of your past everywhere you go in your pocket. Just flip it open and boom, a blast from the past.
I looked into the stupid contents of my wallet and I found all of this.
I wanted to take pictures and posted them up but I’m just too bloody lazy.
1) Pasta Mania’s mini menu and Ricky-the-Pasta-Mania-worker’s email
Harharhar, I thought after all this while, I’ve lost Ricky-the-pasta-mania-worker’s email.
He was a black dude at the counter, and before we approached him to buy our meal, Evonne and mumbling with rock-on hand signs, “Yoyoyo, I’m in dah house mAn. Randy Jackson!” Or somewhere along those lines.
Since he was a black guy, we decided to make friends with him. Jolly. No link, but we just thought it would be fun.
5 minutes later, he forgot our names, but we didn’t know that yet. He even gave us his email so that we could be ‘pals’.
So the next time we went, this time it was with Chee Yang too, we spoke to Ricky like we were best pals. “Hey hey Ricky! Wassup?” and things like that. His face looked so lost, but he still smiled and said hey.
Later when Chee Yang ordered, Ricky told him that he remembered none of us.
Humph.
The Pasta Mania menu is just a sovienier we took home.
They have those mini menus everywhere. Haha. Pocket sized. Carry pasta everywhere you go.
2) Grim Reaper Picture
I used to think this was an awesome picture. I, uh, still do?
Explains why it’s still there.
3) Notes
I lost all my birthday notes in secondary 1 and secondary 2. Gee.
All is left are primary school ones and this year.
There’s one note which Lizard gave when we were in primary school, she wanted to patch things up again.
Since when did we ever fall out? :S Haha, something must’ve happened I guess.
There was one letter where Denise was telling how upset she felt about being left out from our group back in primary school.
I could practically hear her speaking the letter to me, whoa, so Denise.
I dug up all the notes I’ve kept over the years and started rereading them again.
It was so nostalgic and weird to read what they wrote.
There was a note which we wrote back and forth, and I realised that I was such an ass in secondary 1. I even wrote in ahlian language. Hello?! Anyway, my responses in that note were immature and they even annoyed me as I read it. Jesus.
4) Some bracelets and paper clips
I decided to take out the bracelets because they just couldn’t bloody fit in there, but they do make me feel a lot better when I touch them.
Stress reliever.
The paper clip is one of those present things. I like to bend and touch it, it makes me think like a monk. Wise and deep. When it wears out, I just use the other 14 that came along with it. But I think most of the ‘wise’ philosophies I come up with just turn out to be flukes. Maybe when I’m through with all the clips, I’ll know how often I’ve been trying to be an Aristotle wannabe.
5) New Zealand
WHEEE NZ MONAHEY! $$ It’s just 5 biggies though. And the airplane ticket too. Sitting next to Kabeer was unexpectated.
I thought he would scream, laugh, make funny jokes for the 13 hours on the plane, but he just slept, sniffed, blew his nose, slept, ate, slept and slept again. He didn’t even need any pillows or blankets.
Just plop, zzzz. Power.
That trip was so fantabulous, I’d cut short 5 years of my life to do it over again 10 times.
Maybe just 2 years though, but 5 years if the part where the teachers accused Julien and I for being slackers [I'm still fuming over that] I’d let loose man.
6) Movie Tickets and Concert Tickets
I didn’t know I had kept so many. I even have the one dating back to 2005 for Divergence.
Ming Jiang forced all of us to watch that chinese cop show. I thought it sucked, he thought it ruled.
I have never seen a man get so worked up and cried while viciously munching on a McDonald fish burger.
Divergence, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Exorcism of Emily Rose, V for Vendetta, Madagascar, Finding Neverland, Wallace and Gromit, The Maid, V for Vendetta again, Pink Panther, The Ghost, Narnia, I Not Stupid Too, The Return, blah blah blah blah….
The only concert tickets I have is none other than Jay Chou, Z-Pop and Project Superstar.
I bet all of you are either thinking:
1) She’s joking lah
2) WTF!
3) I like bananas
4) What a noob
Yeah, the only second real concert I’ve been to was Jay Chou’s concert. Don’t ask me why, I don’t know either.
Actually I don’t regret it, his music is good. If only he didn’t sing.
That day was the first time I played Counter Strike. I also unearthed the reason why dudes like to play CS so much, it’s just that bloody fun.
At first I didn’t know where the hell I was supposed to go or do, so my team mate had to kill our opponets all by himself. Unfortunately our opponets were CS seasoned players, so you can guess how the outcome was like.
The room was blasting with 3 lines, “PAWNED YOU!” when they kill someone, “FUCKER!” when they get killed, and “OH HOHO GAH GAH WAH PIANG PAK!” nonsensical monkey noises out of excitement.
The first real concert was Wu Bai’s concert.
Awesomeness. I don’t know why every concert I went to was a chinese one, it’s ironic.
I’m still waiting for a concert worth spending a lot of money on.
Project Superstar wasn’t even a concert, I left halfway through because it sucked so much, I was hungry, and the female judge showed too much cleavage. It was free tickets from Mrs Maniam anyway.
I didn’t even know Project Superstar existed until a couple of days before Maniam gave the tickets out.
I should’ve just sold them to Darence.
Z-Pop was funny, it was 2 years ago.
Fang Lynn gave us tickets and we practically didn’t watch any of it because of the packed crowd.
We tried to squeeze through the crowd, but being shorties, we suffocated and nearly passed out from all the body heat and stupid cleavage that we had to occasionally and unwillingly bump into.
So we sat at the back of the field and ate crappy chocolates.
But I notice that concerts make me feel yucky. It’s the crowds, I dunno, some element of concerts just seem so unwelcoming.
The crowd of girls screaming into you ear, they slam into you, it’s noisy, your handphone loses reception so your mum scolds you afterwards about how you couldn’t be reached, the artist’s voice doesn’t quite seem to match the likeable album’s version, glowsticks blind your eyes, your friends are lost in the moment and holding their own mini-one man-concerts, etc.
I’m guessing clubbing will give me the same feeling too, if I ever do so. Tacky techno remixes booming, makeup coated girls, alcohol..
Dunno, it looks sickly to me. It’s not degrading or whatever, it just looks.. Un-homely. I don’t really see the fun in it. Oh wells, we’ll see when we’re 18.
Miss Sri’s Bookmark and Miss Sharon Tan’s card
On the last day of school in secondary 2, Miss Sri gave us all little bookmarks with words of encouragement on it.
I felt so guilty for ponning the last day of school that when she asked why, I confessed that to her that I ponned because I found that there wasn’t a need to go to school.
She sounded so hurt =( Sorry Miss Sri!
Miss Sharon Tan, back in primary 3, gave us something like that too, before she left and got married. I think it’s a pattern.
Nice teachers give little gifts to students while the grumpy ones don’t.
When Sharon Tan left, Jessica was sobbing like crazy.
I find it extremely annoying that the favourite teachers always leave while the grumpy and frumpy ones are here to stay.
First, Miss/Mrs Sharon Tan.
Second, Miss Ho Winnie
Third, Miss Vivian Tan
Fourth, Miss Sri, well, not exactly, but she doesn’t teach upper secondary.
Fifth, Miss Gwen Lim
Sixth, vice principle of TK
Hmm. They’re all ‘Miss’. There surely must be a reason behind this.
9) WWE card - Kane
The Undertaker and Kane. Whee.
I think the WWE card used to belong to Alex. When he wanted his deck of WWE cards back, I kept this one because I loved Kane so much. Oops, sorry man, stole one of your cards.
It was back when he hadn’t unmasked himself, shave his eyebrows and wrestle half-naked. The good ol’ days.
The day he unmasked himself was the day WWE started going down the drain.
He took off his mask, only to reveal a ‘hideous’, ’scarred’ face. Yeah right. His hair was merely half-shaved and his eyeliner smudged, so he looked like a black clown breathing, “I. Will. Kill. Yooouu.”
Afterwards, he shaved his head and his eyebrows.
He wore blue-traslucent contact lenses to give his eyes a scary element, and hung around with his potbelly out. He should’ve kept the costume man, he’s not getting any younger.
For example, Ric Flair. He’s got men-boobs. Chris Jericho is also developing a potbelly there. Oooo. Once, Chris Jericho suddenly appeared with these awesome abs, but they began to fade away.
10) Picture of my Hot Hot Boyfriend
Duh, it’s his face which gives me strength to get me through the day, his face secretes the tiny little remaining hope that my day will turn out okay, he gives meaning to my life, every fibre of my being needs him, he touches kids for fun…
He’s none other than my beloved.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aw.
No, I don’t really have a picture of him. Barney’s just so easy to make fun of.
On the other hand, since there’s so much precious stuff in it, I should just take all of them out and just use the wallet for money in case I lose it. Kinda defeats the whole purpose of the post.
Ouch. Papercut.
The Adventures of the Ponning Gang
Adventures of The Ponning Gang
Self-proclaimed Queen of Pon: Sarah Thomas
Members of Pon: Chow Aiyan, Julia Ho.
Well actually, today was our first official adventure as a group.
But there’ll be more to come, duh.
Aiyan had forgotten to bring her P.E attire, thus, once again, we planned to hide in the toilet to escape BAL, in short.
I find it bloody amusing that he calls himself ‘Bal’. It’s fun to say it, BAL. BAAL. Like, BAAH, but with an L! How fun.
I suddenly recalled that Sarah hated P.E, so I invited her to the promise land - The Girls’ Toilet. Being the Bal-hater she is, she agreed.
But she bailed out! Aiyan and I were appalled, so we just stayed in the toilet, just the two of us..
Yep. Just the 2 of us, Aiyan and me.
Just our lonesome selves. A and J.
Alrighty, staying in the toilet for 35 minutes, just the two of us.
Dum dee dum dee dum..
Hmm.. 30 minutes to go..
Oh gee, there’s a a 5 week old school uniform dumped on the hand dryer..
Hey, here’s a yucky shoelace too..
“AH HAHAHAHHAHAHA. HAHAHAH. HAHAHHAHA,” we suddenly heard Sarah’s signature laughter, the kind which articulates every ‘HAH’.
She actually got scared when she saw Bal, and just ran all the way back. My god, she’s the funniest girl alive lah.
YEAH! POWAH TO THE PONNING GANG!
Then, Aiyan and I stepped out of the toilet to get some fresh air. Fresh air as in, non-ammonia/urine odour.
While we were leaning against the railing, Mrs Poon from the other side of the block in class 3F suddenly appeared at the window.
Aiyan screeched, “OH MY GOD! Mrs Poon saw us!”
Sure enough, there was Mrs Poon. She waved to get our attention, waving cutely! Then she started gesturing her arms in a questionable manner, like asking us what we were doing. I guess the empty classes at our block and us not being in P.E attire pretty much told her that we were loitering around.
I was like, “Oh. Goodd…” and slid behind the wall we were standing next to. Oh damnit. She’s gonna ask us what we were doing there tomorrow.
So we dashed back to the toilet. We spent most of the time panicking whether Mrs Poon was going to enter the toilet and combing our hair. HARHAR, well that was Sarah. And to my disgust, we found the pad wing still pasted on the wall. I guess even the janitors found it too icky.
So we were jollying around, crapping, changing, gossipping, whatever, until..
[Doom music]
Someone knocked the toilet door really loudly.
We panicked like numbnuts, thinking it was Bal or Mrs Poon or something.
So we dashed into the cubicles and the mysterious knocker entered the toilet. Aiyan and I went into one cubicle, Sarah went into another.
We just couldn’t stop laughing. My stomach hurt so much from stifling it, god. After a minute or so, a sluggish voice rang,
“Oi, girls. Hurry up lah. I need to check the toilets.”
Ah, so it was just the janitor.
Ohmygod lah, I’m laughing like a doofus typing this now. Aiyan and I decided to flush the toilet to pretend we just finished peeing.
But 2 girls leaving one cubicle where flushing was heard from would give the janitor a really queer idea, wouldn’t it.
I kept laughing away like an idiot, but we just flushed the toilet and left the cubicle anyway, so did Sarah.
So we ran out of the toilet, and I saw a glimpse of the janitor at the side of the door.
She’s the janitor I see everywhere in school! God, how peculiar.
We decided to run and hide in the secondary 1 level’s toilet until the bell rang. God, it was so bloody amusing.
Thus, that concludes the first episode of The Adventures of the Ponning Gang.
Tune in next time for more running away from Bal, Mrs Poon, janitors and combing of hair.
Got a new ulcer on my gum. I’m confuzzled. Where’d the ulcer come from if I drank enough water to make me pee twice as usual and since when do ulcers grow on gums?