Another Wasted Day of My Life.
“What kind of vegetables do you eat?”
“Salmon.”
That was probably the most intelligent conversation for today.
The rest of the talking was such rubbish that it couldn’t even register in my mind, at least salmon as vegetable is memorable.
Sarah messaged in the middle of the night, panicking that she ran out of P.E shorts. Spastic.
So her underwear is now covered by my shorts.
After putting on some shorts, we hopped off to the auditorium where we spent the next 2 hours listening to the DM fuss over “swipping” the floor and freezing our asses off in the process.
I wonder how she gets so angry every single day, it’s her JOB to be angry.
She probably thinks of angry things in the morning to get her blood boiling, so her mood will be ready in order to catch those latecomers with ankle socks. Like, maybe, the new wrinkle she gets every day. Her blood cholesterol must be scaring the doctors.
Anyway, one of the guides was called Melvin.
Sarah started drooling all over him, sadly, it seems as though his voice hasn’t broken yet even though he’s entered manhood already.
One of the other guides looked exactly like Sonia Yeo, minus the 45 degree shoulder slant and the love for purple, plus better looks.
The 3rd guide adapted Hitler’s mustache, and the last guide seemed like a hippie. Hippie I like.
My group got Sonia Yeo’s twin. I swear we did absolutely nothing. We did play a few lame games like Moving Butt or whatever, but after the games it was just talk talk talk, droning talk. The weather was unbelievably gross too, as if to make matters worse.
Sarah was a good girl and paid attention to Sonia-Yeo-lookalike, Jessie decided to sleep and I took pictures.
Sonia-Yeo-clone didn’t care anyway, she’s in no position to really scold us. Yong G was telling his sadistic stories.
Then, a source of entertainment popped out.
This secondary 2 dude had to join our group, and that was when we discovered him.
Sarah forgot all about Melvin and began drooling over this guy.
Well, he’s not hot, but Sarah and Jessie see potential. I’m not bothered. He didn’t even mind me snapping pictures of him.
Presenting:
Alex [insert ang moh surname]! Or the way he pronounces it, AH-lex.
He’s from Stockport, Manchester. He moved to Australia and came here.
Yes, he supports Manchester United, except he doesn’t watch soccer so he probably just said that in order to quiet Yong G’s multiple questions.
His dad is from Manchester, his mom is Malaysian. Ah, he speaks Chinese as well, with a funky accent.
Did I mention that he’s a genius? He is. He’s among the top 2% of Singapore with the IQ of 148.
If you’re wondering why is he in TK then, I guess it’s because he’s just good in math and computers, not languages.
Yong G was being a real pain in the ass by asking AH-lex stuff like, “Do you like curry?”, “How’s Singapore?”, “Oh my god you can speak Chinese? But you’re ang moh!”, “What’s your shoe size? Your feet are huge”, “What do eat to grow so big?” etc
AH-lex remained cool and answered all his shitty questions.
If I were him, I would’ve told Yong G to fuck off a long time ago.
Sarah found him hot, so I decided to take pictures to amuse myself.
He saw something intriguing?! I don’t know. But he laughs really weird.
He opens his mouth really wide, throws back his head and laughs like, “EH HAH EH HAH!”
That’s Sarah’s sexy hairless leg. Haw.
Then I began to take an interest in people’s butts. Guess which butt belongs to who! *
Then Jessie couldn’t take it anymore and decided to plop her head onto her and my bag.
Took advantage of the moment, duh.
Yong G, What’s-his-name from 3A and Diniy.
We wanted to escape during lunch time. Fang Lynn, Julien, Royce and my names weren’t written on the attendance sheet because we were sent as extras. Jessie was an extra, but her name was written. So we wanted to escape, the trainers were really killing us with boredom.
After eating fried rice, hardy fishballs and un-chicken-like chicken nuggets, we formulated our plan.
We would meet at the staircase at 3pm, ready to run. We kept trying to persuade Sarah, but she’s like Banquo, unswayed by influential talk.
I’m beginning to sound like Mrs Poon, comparing Macbeth characters to real live ones.
Sooner or later, I’ll start oogling at my fingernails and talk to myself.
Speaking of Poon, we saw her standing by the pillar talking to herself again. It’s really creepy, I don’t get people who talk to themselves.
Anyway, while the rest of the class committe leaders went to the parade square, Jessie, FL, Julien, Royce and I ran out school. All there was left was games anyway, plus, since my name wasn’t on the list, I doubt any LEAPS points will be added. Losers.
We couldn’t managed to persuade Sarah and Lynette.
But we were free! Plus, we asked Shixiang to help us take attendance if anymore was carried out.
So we were free. Yay. What did Julien and I do? Go home. Heh.
The rest went to the airport to send of Amalina and the rest, but Changi is a foreign country to me.
Anyway, Sarah being Sarah Thomas, called about half an hour later while I was on the bus, squealing, “Oh my god, Julia! Lynette and I escaped too, I mean, the sun was bloody hot lah! And they were playing some stupid game of whatever shit. Wahaha!”
Our expressions were more or less like this after we escaped:
Twing! Like a Colgate commercial.
*The butt in the pants belongs to Yong G, the butt in the skirt belongs to Jessie. Sarah didn’t allow me to take hers, and I obviously wasn’t going to take my own butt. What am I, spastic?
Dead Bird.
“Oi, you’re so sadistic, take a picture of a dead bird… Aye, send it to me later!”
Once, when I was in primary school, I locked myself out of the house. Again.
While waiting for annoyed-Dad to take a trip back to the house with the keys, I walked down the steps and into the garden.
PLOP. SPPLLAAGHH.
A meter away from me, a dead bird fell onto the ground, sending blood and guts flying all over the garden.
It produced a sick, splatting sound when it hit the ground.
I screamed. It’s head was still intact, with eyes wide open. Its legs remained connected as well, except its body was completely ripped apart. I could see its heart, which stopped pulsating.
I thought bloodthristy pterodactyls came back to life and were scanning the Earth for meat to eat, so I screamed again and ran under shelter. There, I saw bat droppings. Of course, I didn’t know they were bat droppings back then, I thought it was just soil. Yes, I managed to step in bat shit.
I wonder what really happened to that bird. Julien told me that they release eagles/vultures/sick-meateating birds into the air so as to eat the numerous crows in Singapore. Eurgh.
Okkaayy my sister just made a huge “TSCK” noise at me and slammed the door when I said I wanted to use the computer for 5 more minutes. Like 5 minutes difference will part the red sea or send locusts into the streets, or cause pimply breakouts or make the world crack into 2 and send thousands of meteorites hurling towards Earth, or consume the world with 10 million tsunamis and we’ll all die die dieeeee.
Dead animals are sad. Yong Jie will find this “cool”.
An Angsty Title
I’ve got manys manys stuffs to say today.
Parent-teacher conference was strange. I was expecting Mr Tchen to be doing all the talking, but no, I was wrong.
Ms Lena Poh was there too. Perhaps Mr Tchen’s shy, because he only spoke 10 words while Lena Poh launched 3 speeches.
Lena Poh doesn’t even teach me! She teaches the pure geography students, so I don’t get how she’s evaluating my 1st semester’s behaviour and grades. Mr Tchen just idly sat there, staring at his laptop screen, while Lena Poh was rambling on about kids and computers.
Occasionally Tchen would give a nod or agree with some babble my dad says.
Oh, and he drank from his bottle too. Why HUH?
Parent-teacher conference is never exciting anyway.
My dad was jollying about how I use the computer too often thus it might’ve led to the C6 in Chinese [what's the bloody connection?] and Lena Poh was agreeing to every statement he made, then launching into speeches.
At least the results were better than expected. My mum was heaving huge sighs of relief after the conference. 7/41 and 100/358 is pretty okay considering I slacked, so my mum said, “Oh my gosh, I’m SO happy! I thought you were going to be 25th in class or something!” Eh okay, thanks mum.
She was so happy that she took me shopping. I feel guilty whenever she takes me shopping because I end up buying a pile of expensive shit while she’s unable to find anything she likes. So everytime we go out to eat, I don’t eat, to save her money. Argh. Guiltiness starves me.
Speaking of which, I better start eating now. In about a week’s time, you can just call me “Brace Face”!
I can be Vin Diesel’s arch enemy, laser beams and light will be bouncing off my teeth and into your eyes because I, Julia Ho, am going to get braces.
My mum is sick of my front 2 teeth. She says I look ugly with bunny teeth. 
Somehow that was more hurtful than the time when I found out that I was an accident. Whoops.
I guess it’s because it’s not an insult, my non-existance wouldn’t harm me.
I can’t be bothered, but since she’s willing to spend 3000 bucks (!!!) to get my teeth looking like Orlando Bloom’s, then why not.
Aiyan likes to tell me horror stories about braces, even bread can’t be eaten because it’ll hurt too much. I’ll be starving, my only food for weeks will be plain porridge. THE HORROR!
Oh hey, Aiyan got 1st in class. Tyco!
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A family friend died a few days ago…
The thing is that I didn’t know her very well, but it’s still depressing.
She had a French husband who used to teach my dad French [he has completely forgot the language though] and had 3 children.
When I was younger, I’d go to their house and play with their youngest daughter. The 2 brothers were always competing in height.
The daughter didn’t like me very much, maybe because of the age gap, instead she preferred my older sister and they played some potato game.
Then a few months ago, we had dinner with them. She was mentioning about how she had just retired, her son was talking about a new art exhibition. I guess I didn’t pay attention because my spaghetti tasted too fantastic to be true. I had been eating airplane food for 13 hours.
She was so energetic, I can’t imagine what…
It’s just a sudden shock.
I can’t imagine if someone closer to me dies. Death has finality and emptiness, whereas our own problems right now can be dealt with, and we can carry on fussing over them. But death.. Wow, what a completely different issue.
All those TV shows or whatever tell me that after death, the soul still lives with you and hovers around, watching over you. Memories will forever live in your heart, blah blah. It sounds like cheesy bullshit. I don’t feel her “prescence”. She’s gone. Wiped out, completely. Her esscence isn’t here anymore, she took it with her.
You start dying once you are created. I find this thought creepy.
Can you imagine - Life’s just an extended stretch of decomposition. So we’re dying right now.
Ah heck what do I know.
On the brighter side of things, it’s officially school break now.
No more pencils, no more books, no more teachers’ dirty looks! No, it’s piles of homework instead.
Also, I’ve learnt a few bad words in Malay, courtesy of Sarah.
You! You are a gila babi! Teng Hui is a jimbam! It’s going to be fun directing insults at people. 
I’m feeling angsty now, so I’m hating everything.
With that said, I hate Talentsearch. It only serves to embarrass people most of the time, and the only talent they look for are bands, singing and dancing. So far I haven’t seen anything else remotely different. Why? Because it’s c00L mAn. If the contestants are good, that’s great. If they’re bad, it’s really annoying because it only shows you just want to flaunt your reputation or you’re just oblivious to it [the latter is obviously acceptable because the knowledge of how bad your performance is is non-existent to you]. It’s almost cheap entertainment, like reality shows. Bands still insist on performing even though they’re bad, dancers insist on dancing to Bangla/Bling bling music and shake like chickens, singers insist on singing when even I can sound better [that's saying a lot] It sounds mean but sometimes they’re execrable, it’s easy to discern the genuine and bimbotic ones. I guess I’m missing my point here. I hate Talentsearch partially as it, just like the business world, is leaned more to specific talents which are publicised more [eg singing, dancing blah. This is why there are shitty singers, it's fame they're looking for. Name me 10 modern day painters or scientists] thus widening the gap. But also, I hate some of the contestants who join the competition not because of their personalities, but because of their motives. It’s things like these which will never achieve equality.
I guess I’m not really in the right place to say all that. Hah. It’s sounds a bit insane too. But still.
On the other hand, Ming Jie was ubberly cute when he danced and Heather sang quite well.
If she went solo, I’d probably buy her CDs download her songs. Hah.
Placebo’s good. They’re odd.
This Is Just A Random Post Which Requires No Title.
[edit] Snow Patrol!
It’s about time, it’s been 2 years of waiting.
They rock my brains out.
It sounds stupid and cheesy, but their music moves me.
Their music is really inspiring, and it makes me cry no matter how many times I hear it.
Their music speaks to you in an incredibly deep, special way - unlike the usual “My Life’s Unfair” sort of words which somehow applies to everyone’s life. Deeply resonant music, gah, too awesome for words.
Julien and I were depressing over how Snow Patrol used to be an unknown band.
Only now, after 5 years from their first album, they start rocking over MTV and now their songs are being played on the radio everywhere.
It’s sort of annoying, people start gushing over it just because it’s on MTV. Part of the reason why we liked Snow Patrol was because they were virtually unknown, now that everyone fussing over it, the connection has lost its special-ness.
Kind of like Green Day, for example.
They’ve been there forever, but only now their fame starts to sink in.
Most of the fans now don’t even know that American Idiot wasn’t their first album.
The long-term fans feel a little irritated.
Same applies to Snow Patrol, except I don’t like Green Day.
They cruelly remind me of Simple Plan, just that Simple Plan’s 10 times worse because of their emo lyrics. Actually, I can’t believe they can even tolerate singing their own lyrics.
Anyways. Snow Patrol’s 4th album’s out. Whoohoo~
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Sarah saboed me into going for some Class Committee camp, when I’m not even going to be in the bloody class committee. [HAHA SARAH'S GONNA BE CHAIRMAN]
Tell me, which part of that sentence makes sense?
It’s some 12 hour shit which costs $40.
Fine, whatever. I’ll be spending 12 hours doing class committee shit with Sarah and Shi Xiang anyways.
If there isn’t at least a buffet, hell will break loose.
Alright. Edward just told me he got 15 for his L1R5.
He still has the audacity to ask why I wanna strangle him.
Behold, the results:
English: A1
Chinese: C6 [YES!! YESSSSS!!]
Literature: C5
Combine Humanities: -SS: B4, -Geog elect: Dunno, C5?!
Chemistry: B3
Physics: B4
E Math: A1
A Math: B4
I nearly died when I saw my Lit marks.
Mrs Poon says that in the unseen poem, the wife had an affair with the dead man.
If you have time, go read it. It’s ‘The Workbox’ by Thomas Hardy, there is absolutely no fucking trace of an affair going on. I thought the dead guy was just her friend. But an affair? There’s no trace of endearment or affection.
Plus, Thomas Hardy’s poem is hard to analyse because he hardly takes any side in his stories or poems. He usually takes a neutral stand, a narrative point of view. So there really isn’t much to comment on his tone or intention or atmosphere.
Except ‘The Darkling Thrush’, it’s just GAHSHITWTF when you only have 45 minutes to write 2 essays on a poem which you have to tear apart in 10 minutes, especially one which doesn’t have any tone or mood or whatever.
Yet, it’s fun though.
If only they gave more time.
No wonder she failed majority of the pupils for that section.
Geography elect. Sigh. I scored 2.5/10 for map reading. I SO BET the slopes were facing south-west okay, no way could it be any other direction.
This example supports the old saying: Women can’t read maps, Men don’t ask for directions. Looks like I’m a real woman then.
Then I was thrilled when I saw that I passed Chinese.
It was 49.5, rounded up. I have a bad feeling it’s not going to be that lucky during final years though.
Physics was expected, I just don’t get mirrors and angles and what shits.
As I’ve said before, glass blocks disgust me. Don’t they look repulsive, the way they magnify objects because of refracshit.
Well, no point whining. Holidays are here whoohoo!
Random observation: Mrs Poon looked hot today. Don’t know why.
Ooo. Birds. Preetty.
One thing to note when holding people at gun point - Don’t get distracted by birds or your hostages will escape.
The Da Vinci Code wasn’t that fantastic. If I didn’t read the book, my face would’ve had the WTF look throughout the movie, the WTF look on my face just appeared maybe through half of the movie. It was this lump of crap information falling on your lap.
If it weren’t for the book, I would be flaming the movie like hell, because the plot just sounds and looks stupid on screen.
Like, the main character is Jesus’s great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great x100 granddaughter.
But somehow in the book, all of it just sounds neat.
And THE GUY pointing his gun towards Sophie and Langdon got distracted by random doves flying above the church. He was like,
“Don’t move! *tilts head* Oooo. Birds. Preeetty,” then Sophie and Langdon escaped. Geez!
There was one point where the subtitles wonked up a little. Instead of ‘Teabing’, it was ‘Abing’.
So it kind of sounded like ‘Ah Beng’, in a way. Okay, fine, very immature, but it was funny.
Anyway, it’s good, no scratch that, FANTASTIC to have a 17 year old friend, because he can get all the NC16 movie tickets for me to watch!
BWAHAHA. New possibilities and paths have been opened, I see light.
Haven’t seen Pecky for a long time. So, I think his hair grew. *squints* Realised he’s very Pro-PAP, just like my mother.
Well, it stands for Peck Ann’s Party so he ought to support himself, hawhawhaw okay never mind.
Coincidentally we bumped into Faizzah, Rico and their friends, who didn’t manage to get tickets because they weren’t 16.
Pecky, who’s 17 WHEEE~, helped all of us sneak in. Powah! The tearing-ticket guy didn’t even bother to check our ICs though, maybe it was because the movie was starting already.
Then I saw Tsz Pui too. Bloody, everyone from TK was at Cineleisure.
It was then I realised that he still has by Harry Potter book and I have his Sense and Sensibility book, ever since last year? Christ.
It was today when I found out what an evil kid Pecky was in primary school.
Strange isn’t it, you wouldn’t expect it.
He used to be short, 92 kg, and he beat up a guy twice for stealing his flappy ruler.
Now he’s tall, 74 kg, and helps people who gives out flyers by taking them [but throwing them into the rubbish can later].
Like, one of those Before and After pictures.
Then Pecky and I entered a Toys R Us store, and I realised how shitty Barbies have turned into. I used to have 9 of them, they’ve mysteriously disappeared. But the barbies now are huge-eyed, huge-headed ugly dolls. Oh Barbie, go back to your realistic look
Don’t feel like writing a big fat post today. Thoroughly enjoyed the day though.
Lame Jelly
I totally bought like, 34 bottles of that. I like to consume Lame Jelly because it makes my brain mushy and leg-less.
*pukes* Yuck. I think it might actually be nailpolish.
My God! This is so downright kewl man, Shi Xiang Almighty is demanding for an update. You dah man.
Results were fine, except for Chinese [as usual] and Literature [I wanna pull my eyes out]
This was the first time in all my existing years to officially give up on Chinese.
Hey, I was “cooking” soup the day before the exams.
Usually a B4 will emerge with the aid of tian xie han zhi and all the memorising stuff, but due to the shitty motto of ‘Teach Less Learn More’ [which really isn't happening], it’s no longer possible.
The teacher gave back our compositions first. I saw, in gleaming red, 8/20.
I expected that one coming, the question was about a dude who just broke up with his girlfriend [I checked the dictionary during the exam and found out the meaning *beams*] so I couldn’t think of anything to write about except concentrate on your studies to get a bright future thus girlfriends are useless.
The teacher then went through the format and according to her, 8 marks will automatically be obtained if you followed the format, 12 marks goes to content. So I concluded that I got zero for content. What a load of crap I must’ve written.
Ah, and it all added up to 49.
Typical. Just one measly mark to pass.
Then in the middle of staring in horror and fury at my paper, Shi Xiang Almighty messaged!
My phone’s sacred now.
With those 3 heart-warming words, my world changed in a second. What glee and content filled my heart when my eyes set upon those 3 words, it’s not unrequited.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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“I failed chinese.”
Okay lah, exagerrated about the ecstatic part. Sadistic. I just went, “Awesome!” really loudly in the middle of the teacher’s uninspirational - not to mention demorolising- lecture, then it blew over.
Awesomeness dude! I mean, yeah sucks to fail, but misery loves company. *act cute peace sign*
Literature results was utter shit too, kind of disappointing when it’s your favourite subject. Mrs Poon’s one strange woman.
She gave all of us shitty marks then commented on how great we are in Literature. Err. Okay… Thanks for the contradictory encouragement.
Even her comments are poetic.
I asked her what she meant when she said “depth but no breadth”, and she said:
“Oh, it means, like, there’s an entire buffet, a whole spread. But you’re just concentrated on one nice bowl of shark’s fin, you’re not looking at the buffet.”
When she turned away, Aiyan and I started guffawing.
Of all examples to pick from, she chooses food. I wonder if she knows she’s unwittingly hilarious.
The rest of the results were just.. expected. Nothing spectacular, nothing disgusting either.
The feeling of indifference is starting to set in.
Skipping school tomorrow. I forsaw all the events of tomorrow, and they all scream BORING BORING BORING BOOORRIINNGGG to my ears.
Let’s see.
There’ll be Hear My Say, which will waste an hour and 10 minutes of my life. Why? Because not only do we not care about the things which other people have done to connect with school values, but also because we’ve done nothing to connect to school values anyway.
I would like to see what Yong G has to say though.
Today, he told me a fascinating story about a kitten biting a male cat’s penis because it thought the male cat’s penis was its mother’s nipple.
Life with Yong G is never dull, nor will it ever be non-disgusting either.
Then there will be P.E. After that incident with Bal, I’m not looking forward to seeing his chest again which is practically bursting with hair all over the place while other areas lack hair, like his head and legs. It’s repulsive.
After that, stay back in school to collect and go through the Social Studies paper. I’ve appointed Teng Hui to be the collector and checker for my paper, may the force be with you, Sloth. If not, I shall make sloths extinct by killing the remaining last one, which is you.
Plus, Aiyan’s not coming to school until 10am, because of her Coastal studies project. That equals to ABSOLUTELY NO entertainment for 4 hours.
Then Thursday’s a holiday.
I think P Chan got herself a new whoopee cushion or something because she’s throwing holidays at all of us. Fun time.
Mission Impossible 3 - Impossible For a Scene to Lack Tom Cruise
The movie was so full of Tom Cruise that I can scracely remember what actually happened in the movie, but can only recall what Tom Cruise did. Maybe that was his aim, to force audiences to view his face for 2 hours and to lure us into watching, he plants a redundant storyline.
Who’s getting married? Tom Cruise! Whose wife gets captured? Tom Cruise! Who’s the man who all girls waanntt? Tom Cruise! Who’s close to getting fired? Tom Cruise! Whose friend dies? Tom Cruise! Who gets asked by the agency because he’s a “fantastic” agent? Tom Cruise! Who’s in need? Tom Cruise! Who gets help? Tom Cruise! Who beats up the bad guy all by himself? Tom Cruise! Who comes up with every plan to break in? Tom Cruise! Who saves the world? Tom Cruise! Whose face fills up the screen for 2 hours? Tom Cruise! Who fills up so much screen time that there isn’t any space left for sub-plots? Tom Cruise! Who gets to do all the cool action stuff? Make a wild and lucky guess, that’s right, TOM CRUISE!
All the hassle and broken bones to obtain “The Rabbit’s Foot”.
Throughout the movie, we wait in anticipation to find out what it really stands for, and how the bad guy is using it to take over the world.
Usually the bad guy will finally get his hands on the powerful thingy he needs, then stupidly reveal his plans to the lead about how he will take over the world with the powerful thingy, then the lead will beat him up. Saved the world before bedtime!
But.
Do we find out what is it?
No.
So in the end, you really don’t know what’s happening. The bad guy usually has just a little less screen time than the lead, but not in this one. Once Phillip Seymour Hoffman died from gunshot, it’s all back to Tom.
Maggie Q barely had 3 lines in the movie. Damn, I was looking forward to girl power, instead all she did was take pictures with her foundation cum camera, blow up a car, mutter a Cantonese prayer which hardly anyone understands anyway and steal a couple of laptops.
Oh wells, who can blame her, since it was TOM “LOOK AT ME ME ME” CRUISE who uttered every sentence in the movie.
No one else did any cool action except him. He got to jump out of exploding buildings, swing like Spiderman and disguise himself as the bad guy. Damn, he gets all the fun.
The movie cheated my feelings too. Pfft. The first scene showed Tom Cruise’s wife getting shot in the head.
Later on in the movie, like, the last quarter of it, it was actually not her. Cheat my feelings, I was panicking so much during the first scene that I was hiding behind my bag, while Lizard was talking about The Da Vinci code to Eunice. Sheesh.
Oh, and..
Remember the the car in MI3 which exploded?
Good news, IT STILL LIVES.
Yes indeed, it LIVES! In fact, it’s a lot nearer to you than you think. Probably just a couple of kilometers or a mile away from where you’re sitting.
Actually, it’s in Holland Road.
Entry to see it is free, if the owner allows you.
Well, look no further:
YAH I KNOW. MY JAW IS DRAGGING ON THE FLOOR TOO. YOUR EYES ARE BUGGY AND YOUR HANDS ARE FLOWN UP WHILE YOUR MOUTH ATTEMPTS TO SAY THE WORDS “OHMYBARNACLES” BUT YOU’RE JUST TOO SPEECHLESS.
Eunice’s dad owns it.
This is probably the what, 10th car they own [I'm not kidding]. Lizard and I were fawning so much over it that Eunice said even her dad wasn’t that excited. We’re being kind of biased since it’s the same car from the movie, he’s actually got another Ferrari and Lamborghini, but this one’s from MI3! Whee~
We were so excited that we sat in it, and the sensation was like WHHOOAA. The power of the driving wheel pulsing through your hands!
Money definitely can’t buy everything, but it’s times like these when you marvel at the things which money can actually accomplish.
He must be paying some heavy road tax.
Later we played our usual 100 rounds of Egg Emergency on her Pokemon game.
It’s just Chanceys catching eggs, but it’s so hilarious and funny that we play it a million times.
Then at 9pm, Lizard swtched the TV to channel 8, her nine o’clock show. Snort. It was the funniest piece of shit drama I ever saw, I don’t believe Lizard loves it. It’s almost like Jewel in the Palace, all about cooking and the drama which cooks up [Hawhaw pun intended] in the midst of it.
See, there’s this restaurant called Imperial Kitchen. Another restaurant set up next to them, called Kitchen Imperial. “Yah, lame right,” Lizard added in the middle of her story.
Then, I’m not too sure, but I think the owners of both restaurants are all linked somehow, family. Brother-in-law, blah blah.
Apparently one of the restaurants cook superb abalone, thus the other restaurant wanted to steal his idea.
Like how Plankton wants to steal Mister Krab’s secret crabby patty recipe.
So, the owners of the jealous restaurant started to sabotage the other restaurant. They hired people to break the owners up, so that their business will fall and ya di da da. There’s this really horny and lecherous guy too, all he wants is sex, so he fries abalone for his mistress to eat so that he can get some fun.
But the mistress is spying on the lecherous guy, so that she can obtain the secret recipe. This mistress is the sister of the owners in one of the restaurants. And there’s another evil woman who tries to break up Edmund Chen and Fann Wong, she’s the sister-in-law of whoever.
In all, there’s just a lot of “she’s the sister of his cousin whose aunt is that guy’s sister who is this girl’s cousin twice removed whose uncle is the father of the guy whose brother is the step son of that woman” going on.
It was so ridiculous that I was laughing so hard. All this mess for the sake of abalone.
I can cook soup better than any chef who cooks abalone! Yeess.
Ah, well, here are more car pictures for you to oogle at. More more more!
Yep, even a car can cause people like Lizard *gasp* and Eunice *gasp* to act cute *GASP!*. Ahhaha.
Err, joking.
Ah, the wonders of bluetooth. Hey, this K750i seems pretty good.
A Hungry Bored Man is an Angry Man.
As today’s marking day, I had my whole day planned out.
I cancelled every plan I had with my friends just to do all of this at home:
3.00pm: Wake Up.
3.10pm: Eat huge oily lunch
3.30pm: Wacth bad TV, like Oprah Winfrey.
4.30pm: Use computer
6.00pm: Watch The Simpsons
7.00pm: Eat dinner
8.00pm: Watch bad TV again - American Idol, while my dad imitates Randy Jackson
8.30pm: SMS Sarah, like, “OHMYGOD! HE/SHE GOT ELIMINATED! KNEW IT MAN! WHAT A LOSERRR.”
8.32pm: Use computer
11.00pm: Watch bad TV
12.00am: Fall asleep on the couch while watching something stupid.
1.00am: Sister finally notices that the programme on TV sounds too stupid, it’s impossible for me to be watching it. She checks the living room.
1.01am: Sis shakes me awake and tells me to go to sleep in our room
1.30am: Sleep
But no.
I woke up at 9am, ate chocolate chip ice cream for breakfast so now I feel quesy, received chain messages about God and the most frightening factor of all - I’m fucking dying of boredom. This makes me pissed off.
Now that I woke up at 9, my entire schedule is now thrown off-course. Routine!
What was I thinking man, to have thought I would not die from boredom at home!
It’s killing me, I need to go out before my mouth explodes from complaining so much.
My sister doesn’t want to go out, instead, she’d rather play Prince of Persia.
Lizard’s meeting her sister today, so I can only meet her tomorrow.
I cancelled my meeting with Aiyan and Julien last night thinking that I would be watching Oprah all day, and the only available option I got now is watching Poseidon with Edward and pals.
But I think that option’s out too, considering I told Edward that I’m not keen on hanging out with Ian and Luqman.
Then he spurted out some angry random babble about how he’s never good enough and ended off with his signature sing-song “Good-Byeee!” then CLICK, he hangs up.
Argh, Edward, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s kind of like asking you to hang out with, say, Lizard, Vimal and me. You wouldn’t be too keen on that either, I bet. Sorry.
Therefore, Bored = Pissed.
At least I’m having my huge oily lunch.
Women are Weird II
“Stop rocking the chair. Or I’ll rock your ass. You know what I mean.”
What a horrific way to end the exam period - Physics SPA. I’m still bewildered by the shitness of it. d = ki + c?! What sort of shitty relationship does d and k have, they’re like, total fat opposites, even is there’s a relationship, it shouldn’t exist.
I think the only brilliant smarty who managed to discover that k = gradient was none other than Quek Ming Jie, and he was only guessing.
WHY MR TCHEN, WHY! I’ve endured you, your redundant glass blocks and pins for far too long, I hereby announce that glass blocks disgust me. Disgust
I tried cheating here and there by shifting the glass block, so that the lines would pass through the side.
I think the invigilator noticed something wonky about my experiment.
He practically hovered over at our table, boring his eyes into the experiment. I nearly oh-accidentally flicked one of the pins at him.
Before I could do so, he penned something down and walked away.
He could’ve at least been discrete about his observations. But nooo.
At the end of the practical, Sarah pushed the pins into the paper holder and held it against her chin, so it looked like she had 10 chin piercings with 10 pins sticking out. [they're not earrings, so what're they called? Chinrings?] I was so bloody amused.
During our chemistry paper, Mr Tchen wrote on the board:
“Please be at the auditorium by 10.40am. Late comers will be give ZERO.”
Yep, he wrote late comers will give zero. He looked at what he wrote, as if pondering. Then he erased the word ‘zero’. We all thought he was going to add in an ‘n’ for the word ‘give’.
But no.
Instead, he just used a purple marker to highlight the word ‘zero’. He’s so cute.
And can someone tell me what the hell this is? When Mr Tchen distributed these, I was horrified.
O’ Oreo, why? Why do you keep churning out shit like Oreo peanut butter or this? It pains me whenever I walk around the market and see your products on the shelves, because they’re no longer the Oreos which I once knew. :(
Well actually it didn’t taste bad. Except the dark chocolate kept getting stuck people’s teeth, so after eating about 5 of those, you’ll look like you only have 10 teeth in your mouth.
I think the OM may be dyslexic or illiterate. Clearly he did not graduate from kindergarten.
He probably sang the ABC song like, “A B E D C F G C I S F O R C O O K I E,”
Before the SPA exams, he made us surrender all our phones by slipping them into envelops and putting it in boxes, we could only collect it after the exams were over at the General office
Making us wait outside the general office with the lack of handphones while the sun fries our feet into chicken wings is a big nono.
Eventually he let class by class go in and take the phones, but he went hopping all over the place. 3A, 3B, then 3…E? Interesting.
Anyway, exams are finally over! It’s a break from 5 months of continuous studying. Sleep, here I come.
____________
Mother’s Day is coming soon but I don’t see how any celebration is going to happen.
My mother is the exetremist of a woman.
As we all know, all women hold grudges, forgive but never forget, they play mind games, they’re violent when angry, always demand the other party to initiate the first move, have mood swings everyday, have very fragile sensitivity and are short tempered.
So my mother is.. The epitome of a woman. ?
When asked why she didn’t like the Workers’ Party, she went wild. The relationship between her and me is that she tries to speak as much English to me as possible to improve her English [She's from Taiwan] and I try to speak as much Chinese as I can to her to improve mine.
But usually I get quite impatient with her attempt to speak English because I don’t understand or she takes too long to formulate her sentences.
I’m sure she gets impatient with me as well when I take 5 minutes to remember what “candy” is in Chinese.
In the middle of her rambling about Workers’ Party, she mixed up ‘trapped’ with ‘cheated’.
So she said,
“They trap me. I feel very trapped. My collegue used to trap me too, and when I see them [WP] I am reminded of this, it makes me very angry. They trap me.”
I kinda guessed she meant ‘cheated’ instead.
I wonder how she survived 10 years in America.
The thing about most Chinese people from China/Taiwan is that they have small voiceboxes, their voices are always shrill and high-pitched.
The more emotional the words get, the higher the pitch goes. So my mother has this tendacy too.
So she grew increasingly agitated with WP, thus her voice began to resemble a parrot’s, squawking for a cracker.
It’s quite annoying to hear, though I know it’s not her fault.
Besides her voice, I was kind of agitated with her reason to dislike the Workers’ Party.
She hates the WP just because it brought back a long-lost memory of how some collegue used to cheat on her or whatever.
It was only because Gomez didn’t submit his minority form. To me, he genuinely forgot to submit it, but made the mistake by trying to twist the situation into his advantage by accusing the election officers. But whoops, that’s you, on CCTV!
But my mother loves to dramatise everything, so she thinks Gomez purposely stole the form and accused the election officers. Even the drama queens whom I’ve met wouldn’t jeopardise their lives with such an elaborate lie on national television.
But that’s the way women are - irrational. She holds grudges for a lifetime.
Once when I was in primary 3 [primary 3!], I wasn’t feeling well, so I told my mother I didn’t feel like going to tution because I felt like throwing up all over the couch therefore the last thing I felt like doing was calculating muddy numbers in my head.
She was furious, to put it mildly.
She hurled and screamed abuse [not that I could fully understand anyway], then proceeded to throw objects around.
She threw her slippers, threw the books, went to the kitchen and threw the wooden spoon which broke; while I sat on the couch crying out of fear that she was going to throw a frying pan at my head and render me retarded or whatever.
Then, the cold shoulder. She ignored me for a whole week. Whenever she saw me, she gave me this humongous frown of disgust.
So you can imagine how she acts when something bigger than missing 1 session of tution happens.
Back to her WP’s rambling. My sister walked out of the room to study for her SATs. At one point, the topic changed, but she criticised me for something which I can’t even remember now. But that insult was the last straw for me, so I walked out as well.
Women are sensitive, remember.
My mother was furious at the both of us walking out, so she went to her room and slammed the door with so much force that I almost plucked out a few strands of my hair while combing.
Then, a few seconds later, she opened the door and slammed it again.
Now, she’s ignoring all of us. To exemplify her anger, she slams everything she touches. Even when she combs her hair, she brushes her hair with so much force that I thought hair would break under so much force. Then she’d slam the comb on the table.
She gives us the silent treatment [even my father, who is be-bloody-wildered] in order to show us how angry she is and attempts to make us feel guilty so that we would initiate the apology, she wants us to give a shit about it.
Ah, so many traits of a woman in this sentence.
Long-lasting grudge, irrtational, mind games, demands other party to initiate the first move.
There’s a flaw in this mindset. We don’t give a shit.
Honestly, we don’t.
It sounds mean, she’s our mother after all. But I don’t appreciate mind games, and I don’t see what the fat shitty deal is.
My father is always the one who apologises because he loves my mum more than anything in the world, my sister forgets about a feud 10 minutes later, I bitch and forget. But her? Noooo, she can hold it out for weeks, even years if it’s severe to her.
We tried to make up with her by buying her lunch and stuff, but she refused to sit down for lunch with us.
Instead, she announced that she was going to take away the garbage [at 1 in the afternoon?] and she didn’t come back until an hour later. She didn’t eat her lunch, in fact, she ate everything else in the house except the lunch.
Then while we were watching the election, she began cursing loudly in front of all of us when the Workers’ Party won Hougang:
“Ta men dou si ben dan! BEN DAN! WAN BA DAN!”
Translation: They’re all idiots. IDIOTS. [I don't know what 'Wan Ba Dan' is in English. I'm guessing it's 'Bloody Idiot' or 'Fucking asshole' or 'Bloody asshole' or 'Fucking idiot']
Then when PAP won, she proceeded to clap very loudly. I was so disgusted with how she was behaving.
It wasn’t clapping out of genuine happiness, it was the sort of clapping like, “HAHA I WIN YOU LOSE IN YOUR FACE SUCKERS!” to my father and sister.
A few days ago, she was complaining that all her collegues were voting for PAP, why not vote for the opposition party.
Then all due to her no-life former collegue who cheated in some stupid project, her opinion’s flipped 180 degrees.
Or maybe she turned pro-PAP all for the sake of opposing herself with her family. Sheesh.
Also, I wasn’t rooting for the PAP.
To have her clapping away made me feel even more like plucking out my eyeballs and throwing them at the TV.
Now when she wakes me up in the morning, she kind of just whacks me till I grunt in response.
Anyway, I’m trying to be indifferent towards her.
While she was steaming in mid-life crisis anger, I realised I don’t know my mum as a person. I know her as a mother, a mother who cooks and cares and nags, but not as a person. How she’s like as a character. It’s kind of sad to realise that the person whom you’ve lived in and with for 15 years is a stranger to you.
Mothers… It’s times like these when I reconsider my decision to have children in the future.
They’re so damn cute and lovable, but if I’m going to become like one of those naggy mothers who slap their children on the buses/mrt and threaten to leave them there just because the kids won’t stop gnawing their fingernails, then I’ll spare my children by not giving birth to them.
Plus, giving birth looks horrifically painful. -shivers-
Un-Soup-Like Soup
[edit] Oh my god, Teng Hui aka Sid the Sloth is so.. at lesiure.
He just drew this picture:
I saw it and said, “Aiyoh what’s happening in that picture?!”
I’m the rabbit with green ears, he wrote the words, “I AM JULIA,” on the tummy of the rabbit and he’s the rabbit with red ears.
Holy noob, Teng Hui. That’s a bloody random picture.
In turn, I tried drawing Sid on photoshop, but it resembled an alien more than a sloth. Gee.
________
This is my first time cooking soup from a can.
The difficulties I encountered:
1) Where For Art Thou, Can Opener?
The reason why I couldn’t find it was because I wasn’t fully aware of how it looks like.
I mean, there were around 2 of them in the drawer but they looked different [One's green and one's silver!] so my doubts arose.
I vaguely knew how it looked like but they looked different, one had a big fat screwy thing while the other didn’t.
Hooyah, bimbo side is revealed.
2) A Manual Should Be Provided
I fumbled with the can opener on the can for the longest time. Eventually I threw the can opener onto the table, grabbed my hair and yelled at the can opener, “ARGH,” then stomped off to the study room to complain to some people on msn.
I even went to Google “how to use can opener”, but they gave me nought!
So I messaged my sister, asking for instructions.
She called and taught me how to use it. Haha! A new skill learnt today! Much more useful than learning chinese for tomorrow.
If I were stuck on an island with a can of food, I’m not going to write a letter in chinese to the chinese embassy to open it, am I? CAN OPENERS TO THE RESCUE! Ooo can openers are made in China.
3) Un-soup-like Soup.
I added too much water, so VOILA, it’s watery chicken soup. Un-soup-like soup.
It tastes like utter crap, but I’m still eating it. Why? I’m hungry.
I prefer to think that it’s the quality of the soup which sucks and not my cooking.
There’s some very nice cheese prata sold nearby though.. Mmm..
And that’s my adventure for today.
We had Literature exams today, those pure geography SUCKERS in my class had an hour longer to complete their paper.
Haha, we ended at 9.18am while the pure geography SUCKERS had until 10.18. Gee, I was home by 10.30! Haha! True suckers! 2 and a half hours worth of physical landscape! Haha! Suckers! Yes! Suckers! Yeah! Suckers! Muaha! Suckers! You get the point!
Another adventure for me: I lost my spectacles.
I searched everywhere, the laundry, the rubbish bins, the freezer, behind the rice cooker, the drawers, my sock drawer..
So I’m deprived from television. More computer it is for me then.
I can’t even be a housewife when I grow up. Yay!
This soup eats ass lah. Those chickens wasted their lives.