Screw Taiwan Yourself
TAIPEI, Taiwan, Dec. 26 ? A strong earthquake and three powerful aftershocks shook Taiwan today, causing damage and at least one death, but a feared tsunami did not happen.
Local news organizations said the seismic activity killed at least one person and injured at least 20 in towns on Taiwan?s southern tip, close to the epicenter, which was just offshore.
Taiwan?s Central Weather Bureau estimated the initial earthquake at 6.7 on the Richter scale, while the United States Geological Survey reported a preliminary magnitude of 7.1.
The Pacific Tsunami Warning Center in Hawaii said there was no threat of a region-wide tsunami, but Japan?s meteorological agency initially warned of a 3-foot wave heading south toward the Philippines. It later withdrew the warning, saying the danger had passed.
A significant aftershock shook Taiwan eight minutes after the earthquake and was estimated by local officials at 6.4 on the Richter scale and by the United States Geological Survey at 7.0. A third shock four minutes later was estimated by local officials at 5.2, and a fourth that occurred three hours later was measured at 5.5. The earthquake and the first aftershock were unusually long, each lasting more than a minute.
Taiwanese television stations showed rescuers using power equipment to dig through the remains of a building that collapsed and trapped eight inside in Kenting, an aging beach resort that faces the epicenter of the quake a few miles off shore.
A woman answering the phone at the Ambassador Hotel in Kaohsiung, a city of 1.6 million people located 50 miles from the epicenter, said there was little damage there and the city was calm. Calls to Kenting could not be completed because phone lines were overloaded.
The initial quake and the first aftershock were felt throughout Taiwan. A reporter?s hotel room swayed in Taipei, 260 miles north of the epicenter, and the building creaked for 10 to 15 seconds during both, while the second aftershock was not perceptible. The hotel was not evacuated, and the streets were quiet and peaceful afterward.
The first quake took place at 7:26 a.m. Eastern Standard Time on Tuesday, which was 8:26 p.m. on Tuesday evening in Taiwan.
The quakes came on the second anniversary of the far more powerful one off Sumatra in Indonesia ? estimated at 9.1 on the Richter scale ? that triggered a tsunami up to 30 feet tall. That tsunami killed 230,000 people around the coastline of the Indian Ocean, most of them in Indonesia, and left nearly 2 million people homeless.
A Taiwanese official warned in a televised press conference tonight that there would probably be further aftershocks.
Taiwan lies in one of the most earthquake-prone regions of the world. An earthquake on Sept. 21, 1999, measured 7.6 on the Richter scale and killed more than 2,000 people in northern and central Taiwan.
(New York Times) (!!)
You’re reaction? “Fuck Taiwan lah, internet so slow sia!”
You’ll only comprehend your dominating relationship with the computer if you 1) blame Taiwan for their earthquake, not taking into account that Taiwan wasn’t the one who challenged, “C’mon Earthquake! Hit us lah, nananipoopoo,”, 2) only fussing over your internet when lives were injured and 3) screaming, “Internet so slow! Fuck Taiwan lah!” and will only be consoled if a playstation is available at your disposal.
The description pretty much fits most us.
Still not convinced that technology is overwriting human priorities?
You selfish bastards. Stop complaining and start sympathising.
P.S: Taking 15 minutes to log on to blogger? Eat my dust, I use Wordpress!
Happy Things
Since I spend so much time, perhaps all the time, complaining so much, I’ve decided to shift my focus on things that I like. Which aren’t many, I came to realise after thinking. I’m not referring to the warm sunlight on your face and the simple fragrance of flowers in the morning and all that cliche shit that you should be happy about, I’m talking objects or habits that we like to indulge so much in.
Anyway, since my loves are probably already known (if you don’t, read the navigation bar) I’ll just pick random stuff that I like.
Digress for a moment:
Optimism. Much more important than you may think, folks. Yeah I know, it’s more cool to be pessimistic, gives you the “tall, dark and handsome” type of factor, especially if you’re not handsome. Or tall. Anyhoo, surprisingly, happiness extends your life span.
Easy-going + happy + relaxed + optimistic = You’re living to a hundred, baby.
Now if you’re constantly under stress for a prolonged period of time, you’ll get..
Stress + Frowns + Argh = Cancer
A type of chemical whose name has escaped me for the moment - let’s call it Chemical A - is released when you relent from stress. Such as when you’re working really hard for a long time, then finally you stop because you want to take a break, so you chill and get some coffee. Chemical A is released when you’re relaxed, and it helps to check your body for cancerous cells. So if you don’t relax, Chemical A can’t be released and POOF, you’re prone to cancer.
But also, if you externalise your problems too much, such as hostility, aggression, violence..
Punch + Kick + Attack people = High blood pressure
Lose-lose situation, yeah. So keep those lips stretched towards the heavens, your life depends on it.
But then again, why live to a hundred if you’re alone and abandoned?
But another disadvantage to being a optimist is that optimists manage to keep their happy levels up by comparing themselves to others. Like when they say, “At least you’re not as fat as that woman there.” So maybe optimists tend to be a little more judgmental.
My sister told me this stuff, from her Psychology textbook. Plus, did you know that you start aging when you’re only 20 years old? Wrinkles will form, but you won’t notice your prune face until you’re 30. By the time you’re 40, your eyes will start to go [so will your back] and you hit menopause at 50. Enjoy your wrinkle-free faces while it lasts - only for another 5 years.
Back to the topic!
The new love of my life:
Ryan Stiles!
Oh, Jude Law? Not anymore! He’s so passe man.
I don’t know why I like him so much though, Colin Mochrie came a close second, but Colin lost because his head resembles…a grape? Hairless. Nah just kidding, they’re both awesome.
Plus, he doesn’t even know that I exist, thus unable to dump me, avoiding the inevitable months of depression. Yes! Go me *ooga shaga*
Watch Whose Line is it Anyway?, he’s awesome. Whenever you’re feeling down, suicidal, sad, angry or pissed off, watch an episode of Whose Line? and it’ll make you think about unicorns and rainbows instead of I-hate-this-life-wanna-die thoughts.
Second on my list are..
That’s right, the yummiest food in the world.
Potatoes.
Steam them, bake them, boil them, mash them, cream them, spit in them, they always taste so good even by its own[after adding salt, sugar, butter, sour cream, bacon bits and spring onions of course]
Have you had your potato today?
Third on my list is Meat Loaf!
Meat Loaf galore!
..Oh oops, not that one..
Ah alrighty, Meat Loaf galore! Bat Out of Hell 3’s awesome. Initially, I thought he sounded like an old cheesy drug-ridden rocker with a pot belly trying to show that he’s still got it. But after a couple of times, you begin to acknowledge his passion in his voice.
Have you had your Meat Loaf today?
Well, these are the only 3 I can think of right now.
I’m still wondering whether to publish that saved post..
Anyhoo, I bloody need a haircut. When I sleep, I think Medusa crawls into my bed and tries to strangle me. Hair feels like her tentacles.
I told my mum this, she went:
“Don’t cut!”
“But.. *unable to finish my sentence because hair flew into my mouth*”
But she chose not to see the flyaway hair. Oh well.
Women choose to see what they want to see.
There’s cherry stuck in my braces.
Just finished watching The Godfather trilogy. My dad bought the whole set and left it on the shelf to gather dust. It’s quite good, Robert De Niro looked so awesome when he was young! The directing was awesome too. Yeah I know my opinion doesn’t do the movies justice, just really lazy to type out a whole extravagant report now.
My sleeping pattern seems to have messed up lately. At 1am, I’m hyper like a coffee bean. I manage to doze off at 3am, and I’d suddenly wake up at 4am and won’t be able to go back to sleep until much later, and finally wake up in a lethargic state at 12.30pm. Urgh, I hate it. My liver and kidney must be screaming for a break.
Why am I boring you with my sleeping patterns?
Anyways, I typed out one whole long entry and saved it as a draft. I’m wondering whether to publish it or not, or more like whether it’s worth being read. Oh wells, I’ll touch up on it and decide later.
On another subject, I’ve successfully managed to stick to my chocolate-free diet! I’m down to one tiny ball of dark chocolate a day, or sometimes none in a day. Dang, I’m made of steel, hear me roar! The consequence would be having to pee constantly - due to substituting every chocolate craving with juice.
If you’re reading this, I think you may have wasted about 5 minutes of you life reading about someone else’s mundane life.
Shoo! Find a job! Do your homework! You lazy bums.
P.S: My layout looks great!
Funky Dream & Annoying Kissy Couples
I’ve been haunted by really weird dreams these days, maybe because of oversleeping.. Who knew? Heh. Or maybe it’s the chocolate. Sigh.
One of the most prominent dreams I had involved Stephen Fry, Mike McShane and swimming.
I was swimming around in the pool with Stephen Fry, except he was Chinese and had an Ah Pek sort of figure. He was teaching me how to swim, my dad insisted him on teaching me till grade 2 (are there grades in swimming?) and wanted me to have an exam on grade 2 swimming before proceeding on to grade 3, just to make sure I got the foundation.
For some reason, my dad was hell bent on getting that exam. He dragged me over to Hong Kong where Chinese Stephen Fry lived in a hotel sort of building. He called him and confirmed an appointment with all the swimming judges. He wanted to ask them whether they were willing to give me the grade 2 swimming exam (in Dreamland, swimming exams don’t exist for grade 2, it seems)
So Stephen Fry, being a nice dude and all, agreed.
My dad drove me to somewhere, and we entered a room full of swimming examiners.
Yah, I don’t know why I was carrying drumsticks.
Maybe it’s because I forgot to give Liz her present last time, yikes.
Anyway, upon hearing the news, nearly all the swimming judges snorted in disgust, as if it was the most absurd thing in the world to test a grade 2 swimming student. Totally absurd! A grade 2 swimming student! Blasphemy. All of them left, claiming, “This is too much!”, except Mike McShane, the organiser and Stephen Fry. Yeah, Mike McShane was Chinese too.
Thanks to these kind-hearted people, I got my swimming exam and we lived happily ever after, being Chinese and all.
Haha, I love Dreamland. I now know how Stephen and Mike would look like if they were Chinese! Who needs Photoshop when your dreams can do all the work for you?
Speaking of Stephen Fry, I saw him on the UK version of Whose Line is it Anyway? and he looked so damn skinny and healthy. He even had cheekbones and the size of Fann Wong’s cheekbones.
On a different subject, it’s annoying to sit next to kissy couples during a movie.
I’ve got nothing against kissing, but I’ve got something against making people listen to sloppy kissy noises during a movie and slobbering saliva all over the cinema seats.
When I watched Open Season (shitty movie, by the way. But the beavers looked damn cute, I just wanted to hug them!), I was lucky enough to get a nice, quiet kid sitting next to me. Yay. But I remember a few instances when I was unfortunate enough to tolerate 2 hours of non-stop kissing action.
Why pay $9 to watch your lover’s face for 2 hours, when you can do that free of charge in like, I don’t know, a room?
If my boyfriend wanted to kiss me in the cinema, I’d tell him off, “Back off man, I’m trying to watch a movie. And your breath stinks anyway.” and he can kiss my hand. Then he’ll dump me later, but hey man, watching a movie here~
Noisy kids are another thing.
First of all, babies. Why bring a baby to watch a movie when he’s not even going to remember it? He’ll most definitely cry or fall asleep. Noisy kids though, sigh.
I was once a noisy kid in the cinema. Well not exactly noisy, just annoying. While watching Mulan, I just felt as if I had to pee every 5 minutes. In my sister’s psychology book, it says there’s a period of time in a child’s life when he constantly feels like he needs to pee, so it ain’t my fault! I’d tug on my dad’s shirt and he’d sigh. I probably went to the toilet 8 times during that movie.
Anyway. There’s no solution for noisy and irritating kids I guess. I just don’t like them. Tough noogies.
And now I leave you with wise words from Colin Mochrie:
“Hey Ryan, if Sting retires, will he change his name to Stung?”
Hehehe.
WHY?!
Argh, my mom just brought back 2 huge bags of dark chocolate.
WHY mother, WHY?!
Chocolate Diet.
I.. Need.. To.. Stop.. Eating.. CHOCOLATES.
I’ve been eating chocolate at least once a day for the past 6 months. “At least” meaning I usually gobble up more than 1 in a day. I can’t help it, they’re like little drops of chocolate-y heaven. Everyday after school, my lunch would consist of a lone Mars bar. Even now I feel like eating a bloody chocolate. Chocolates! Come to meee!
No wonder I can’t sleep at night.. Stupid glucose.
Anyways, I’m gonna plan out a chocolate-free diet.
Step 1. Shifting.
Everytime you reach for a chocolate, smack your hand and reach for the juice instead.
Also, everytime you think of chocolates, shift your thoughts to something else, like a real lunch for once.
Step 2. Paranoia
Everytime you reach for a chocolate, think about the future. Explore every possibility available.
Every piece of chocolate you consume would mean an inch closer to gaining weight.
That’s right dudes, every female hates gaining weight, no matter what they tell you. They may eat like mad in front of you, but at home, they’ll exercise to a Richard Simmons video and throw dinner away. Don’t be fooled and stop offering her fried bananas.
Anyhoo, gotta think about worse consequences.
Like diabetes and whatever, but the main thing is probably gaining weight.
There you’ll be, 20 years from now, stickered to the couch with a bag of chips in one hand and the remote control in the other. And what will you be watching? Yes, General Hospital. Then suddenly you receive a heart attack, collapse, and the next thing you know, you’re sitting on a couch which costs more than your home next to Oprah Winfrey, reciting your story to “tell the world” the dangers of eating too much crap. Oprah will nod sympathetically and show to the audience unflattering pictures of fatty you, using you as an epitome of fatness.
All because of that chocolate in your hand. Chuck it away!
Step 3. Post-it.
Smack Post-its on the fridge, the walls, your table, in the toilet, wherever.
Write on the post-its: “No Chocolates. Or die from embarrassment on the Oprah Winfrey show” to remind/haunt you of the future consequences.
I don’t need to say the rest.
Yay, I shall try to carry out all 3 steps. Or on the other hand, I could binge myself on chocolates then exercise like mad later.
Nah, exercising is tiring.
Off to eat some chocolates cabbage now!