Vanakkam, Vanakkam.
P.S: Ahhh I just realised I’ve misspelt ‘Vanakkam’. What kind of Indian am I?!
“That’s not a bee, that’s a waps!”
“It’s WASP.”
“Oh. WAAPPSS.”
- Mr Tchen “Ah Huat”
When he went, “WAAPPSS”, his mouth hung and swung to the side, resulting in a spastic-like face. Oh damnit, he’s so funny.
He says weird stuff like, “She went to the back of the que gracefully” and “I had a 7cm long pimple on my liver.”
Speaking of which, Mrs Poon is starting to seem strange.
She never laughs, even at her own jokes. So when she cracks one, we don’t really know how to respond.
The only jokes she laughs at are Royce’s jokes. Strange.
Plus, whenever Aiyan and I say hi to her, her face is just stoned, and she’ll say something completely out of context, like, “You all are acting like it’s the last day of school, “, “Tuck in your shirt, “ and “Syaza is studying for her quotes test now.”
Like, huh? I don’t really know what she’s trying to tell us, a simple ‘hi’ in response would suffice.
But she says all this wonky stuff, maybe it has a inner, deeper meaning between the lines, knowing her.
Oh, and once, she said, “At the beginning of the play, Lady Macbeth is just like Mrs Lim (School’s DM)! But as the play progresses, she’s not Mrs Lim anymore!”
Aiyan and I laughed like mad, but she didn’t.
So we quickly stopped our laughter, I mean, was that supposed to be a joke?
You don’t just personify the school’s DM as an evil, ruthless fictious character out of seriousness.
I mean, you’re talking about a woman who wants to desexualise herself for power, would even kill her own offspring to do so and turned kuckoo in the end [Mrs Lim or Lady Macbeth, make a guess]
Weird.
I feel like visiting a church one day and pretend to be a Hindu who’s seeking views about Hinduism from Christians.
Then do some wonky Indian stuff, like wearing a putu on my forehead and bow to everyone, saying non-stop, “Vanakkam, vanakkam.”
Initially, I wanted to do it as a pretend-Satanist and hand out “Satan RULEZ” badges to everyone, but that’s too harsh. They’d really clobber me. They don’t take jokes.
Plus, I might get arrested for a stupid reason, perhaps it’s an act against racial harmony/religous rights or whatever senseless laws Singapore implies.
I know I’m not dark enough to be Indian, that’s what makes it even more hilarious to do.
I’m gonna drag someone along to do it with me sometime.
A pair of chinese-Indians in a church, repeating ‘Vanakam’ non-stop. Hah. Who’s up for it?! Tell me if you are. We can wear turbans and everything.