Navin, Yi En, Noel and I went to VJC today to participate in the humanities quiz.
It was a great yet god awful day for me. I’ll explain later.
We had the preliminary round, which I completely flunked at because who the hell knows what “Chaebol” means? The only questions I could answer were the Literature questions and “Which one of the following is NOT part of The Beatles? (Mick Jagger, hyuk)”. Needless to say, our school didn’t get into the top 4. SJI, Maris Stella, Hwa Chong and RI were the top 4. Isn’t it curious how no girls managed to be in the top 4?
Anyway, as the quiz progressed, I realised that they really are smart-asses. Our mental capacity is inferior to theirs. Maris Stella, unexpectedly, won; leaving RI in the dirt. Hah. Eventually, I began to day-dream about soup, when a booming voice flooded the room:
“And the Gold individual prize goes to Samuel Lim of RI.”
I raised my eyebrows in surprise as I saw one of the RI boys, who had been in the RI team and answering the questions on stage all along, walk across the stage to accept his prize.
Why was it a great day? Well, Samuel Lim was my first and biggest crush. I used to practically obsess over the guy when I was in primary three, all the way till we were in primary 6. 3 years wasted on obsessing over him! He was my neighbour, and we used to play badminton and talk to each other. Finally, he moved out of his house and I didn’t get to say goodbye.
He was obviously oblivious to my gargantuan crush for him. Anyway, I just felt pleasantly surprised because I haven’t seen him for 4 years now, and of all places, I finally meet him again by coincidence at some dumb humanities quiz. Unfortunately, I hadn’t been able to recognise him throughout the entire quiz, until the speaker announced his name, so I actually thought he was a not-too-good-looking [Ugly is such a harsh word. Anyway, he doesn't look ugly. Just nerdy.] RI boy who probably has an IQ of 300 and is ridden with acne.
Oh, and he was the top scorer for PSLE in our year. His face was plastered all over the newspapers.
Now, why did I feel like chicken shit subsequently? After 4 years of day-dreaming [sometimes] that I’d meet him by coincidence one day, I could not pluck up enough guts to approach and talk to him. I couldn’t even pluck up a single courageous gut from the swarming pool of cowardice in my stomach to simply walk over to him and talk to him, and say, “Hey, I used to be your neighbour, we used to friends.” I couldn’t break out from my shell of imagination to actually realise that I’d just missed the chance of a lifetime.
God, I feel like such a cowardly piece of shit. I’ll probably be brooding over this for weeks and attempt to gorge my weight in chocolate.
I feel like hitting myself, why am I such a coward? Stupid Julia, stupid Julia… Christ, I don’t think I’ll ever get over this in my LIFE.
He probably doesn’t remember me anyway. His mind is probably on more important things, like who’s the President of Timbuktu, or what sort of mysteries NASA is hiding, or the enigma behind the Bermuda’s triangle, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. While I’m struggling to understand elementary physics like Forces and Electricity in TK, the school for retards [Yeah I said it], he’s probably busy rebutting top debaters in Singapore about Locke’s Philosophy and Plato’s work. He can probably eloquently and thoroughly justify atheism more than I ever can and his idol is probably John Milton or Bach. His mental capacity is 100 times more superior than mine, which explains why he entered RI while I entered this ulu, remote school by the name of TK.
Why, why, why. Why couldn’t I be a brilliant student who can comprehend Physics with ease and discuss about Philosophy? Speaking of Physics, I’m considering to drop the fucking subject. Apparently I am unable to comprehend the natural laws of the Universe and should just stick to delving into my stupid imagination, which has always been a barrier between dreams and reality for me. I’m incompetent in the world of science.
Anyway, back to Samuel. He’d probably be freaked out if he saw this, like, why is this unknown girl obsessing over me?!
My self-esteem just plummeted way down. Into chocolate.
2 Responses to “”
ZOMG you debated against Samuel Lim?!!?!??! ARGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH.
OMFG.
so the samuel lim i see at debates and debated against (beat his team too) …. IS THAT SAMUEL YOU USED TO LIKE> this is so frigging weird. o.o really. hes not that good. your brains are wayyyy bigger XD