MLIA
[Edit] 1. LOL I NEED THIS NOW
2. Just found a super retro ’70s synth-pop band called The Human League. It’s so cheesy I love it.
3. Iron Maiden too. So hardcore, I love it.
4. Realized that my navigation bar thing hasn’t changed for the past 3-4 years. What the hell. Damn ancient lah. I would change it if I knew how. Changed it. Although my “Categories” part is also rotting, everything I’ve posted for the past couple of years has been ‘Uncategorized’
5. Papaya tastes like ants.
6. There are suddenly a lot of tiny brown beetle-like bugs flying in the study room. Dunno where the hell they’re coming from.
7. There are also a sudden proliferation of mosquitoes, because of the construction site going on next door I think. Damn it. Need to restock Baygon.
8. Wiki-ed Baygon. Nothing much.
9. Went to Wisma’s SONY shop to repair my laptop. Contrast IMM’s SONY branch with this one:
In IMM..
Me: My laptop keeps shutting down by itself, it’s gotten worse over the past month
Dude: Hmm does it shut down when you’re not using it?
Me: No, it shuts down around 10 minutes while I’m using it
Dude: *ponders for a long while, then fiddles with the settings* Okay I’ve changed your laptop’s settings to “Never Shut Down” because previously it would shut down after 20 minutes when it’s not used
Me: Uh, but it shuts down while I’m using it. And whenever I try to start it up again, it shuts down.
Dude: *Smiles condescendingly* Okay, but it’s working fine now leh?
Me: It’s erratic, it only happens occasionally, but it’s gotten more frequent over the past month. I couldn’t even switch it on yesterday. Could it be a virus or overheating or something?
Dude: *Continues to smile condescendingly* Okay, but now I’ve changed your settings so it should be fine. If it still persists, come back again and we’ll have to erase all your data to ensure that it’s not a virus.
Me: O_O
When I went home and tried to turn it on again, it still shut down. Idiot.
So I went to Wisma’s outlet:
Me: It keeps shutting down while I’m using it, subsequently whenever I try to switch it on again, it shuts down in the middle of starting up.
Dude: When this happens, does a particular area feel hot?
Me: Yeah, the left side.
Dude: It’s an overheating problem. We’ll change the [computer jargon] within 5 to 7 working days. We’ll contact you then.
Me: Thanks.
Heh.
Emo
Prelim results. Haven’t gotten back all of them yet but it sounds like the pits so I’m not expecting anything better than that.
Depressed.
I guess this is where I should go on a hiatus right?
Hmm
I’m on the verge of getting addicted to tumblr now and I like reading the love quotes (Yah I know I’m not a particularly mushy person but I’m still a girl!) which are quite insightful (oh no I’m starting to sound like someone) but I’m slowly realizing that most of them are either quite ego-boosting or a bit too idealistic. Most of the quotes boil down to the gist of he’s not good enough for you (if you get dumped) or like “I want a guy who will put up with me no matter what, who tells me that he needs me, who will make me shiver with excitement etc etc”
But the former really depends on the situation right? I mean, if you’re a crazy girlfriend who’s overly possessive, bossy, whiny, can you really blame the guy for leaving you eventually? In that case, quotes like “If he doesn’t love you, you deserve better” are kind of bullshit isn’t it. How will you ever learn your flaws if you keep believing in phrases like those? (Again, it depends on the context)
As for the latter, I know it’s romantic to fantasize that you’re one guy’s everything, but it’s on the verge of getting egoistic and discriminatory. You want to be one guy’s whole life, the reason why he breathes, the reason why he wakes up in the morning, to not have a life besides you? To an extent, fine, that’s what love’s about, but I think such a mindset is proliferating a little too much. I think what most of them are forgetting is that they can’t possibly find a person who would do such a thing for them if they don’t give all of themselves to them in the first place, which is impossible due to the egoistical build-up b the notion of the-guy-must-live-and-breathe-you-24/7. Plus, a particular girl I know seems to devote her entire life to finding that one dude who would die for her (that’s her version of a happily-ever-after). Her search has come to the point where she’s practically dissing the entire male sex, implying that practically none are good enough to be loved by her. Ridiculous! Women complain about being discriminated all the time, true, such discrimination still exists, but I highly doubt that generalizing men as mere porn-watching, beer-chugging morons is accurate too. It’s like a new social phenomenon in the 21st century, men being discriminated.
It’s these very expectations that just set them up for big disappointments and delusions. Sometimes I don’t really believe in all that advice about how to deal with / get the girl/guy you want based on their sex alone, because it totally defies the entire notion of “true love” that everyone is looking for in the first place. I really think if you love someone, you wouldn’t give a shit about all the “what do you look for in a man/woman” blah, because you’d love the person’s flaws too. It would just be two people in love with one another, and not a man and woman (Oo sounds Herland-ish)
But then again, I’m only 18, I don’t have a lot of knowledge about what love is. At this point in time though, that’s what I think.
Anyway I know certain readers will conclude that on top of being cynical about everything else, I’m even cynical about love too! Well I’m really not at all, I just think that sometimes some girls can get a little too caught up with their delusions to realize what they have in front of them. I myself recently just snapped out of that funk too. Maybe reading all the love quotes in one shot made me feel this way, maybe small doses is the way to go.
Internet Searches
What wordpress does is that it tracks down the searches that people make on Google where your blog appears as one of the results. The things people search sometimes… Good grief, the human mind is baffling sometimes.
The most outrageous search I’ve seen so far is “eatmyshorts porn”. Either that person was searching for Bart Simpson porn, which really reaches a new low in terms of freaky fetishes because it’s pedophilia and cartoon porn all rolled into one, or porn of me. The former is a lot more plausible.
I also got “duolon handsome”. Okay, Duolon is handsome, but what kind of search is that? It doesn’t make any sense, he’s already handsome, so whatever your search on him will automatically be handsome too right.
I also get quite a few searches of my classmates/friends/school people like “08a04 [insert name]“, but yeah nothing out of the ordinary about that.
Then the rest are all the usual porn searches etc. I guess the internet can really reveal one’s deepest secrets.
Okay I think my blog will get a gazillion more hits after this post because of the word “porn” appearing so many times, so my blog will probably show up as one of the results a lot more often now. Meh.
Revelation
Seeing you again after so long gave me just the closure I needed. The thought of meeting you again always wandered across my mind and I always thought, with fear, that crazy feelings would emerge again and make me dissolve into a big emotional mess. I was surprised to feel well, nothing at all. I guess that’s what I get for thinking too much. I think I waste my life away fantasizing and speculating excessively, it prevents me from seeing what I have in front of me, because hell, if there was a God, he has just dropped a damn good one right on my lap, and I’ve been too busy thinking about what would most likely never happen to see what’s been right there in my face, literally, every day for the past couple of years. It was something that has always been nagging at me at the back of my head but just never quite realized it. Only when I think about it now, what the hell, I can’t believe I’ve felt this way for so long without even knowing. I always thought that being brutally honest with myself was a way to beat my own subconscious, but all this time my subconscious has been whacking me without me even knowing and I’m definitely not as certain as I was before. What a smack in the head that revelation was.
Crap. How?
The Stone Roses
Sometimes I fantasise
When the streets are cold and lonely
And the cars they burn below me
Don’t these times fill your eyes
When the streets are cold and lonely
And the cars they burn below me
Are you all alone
Is anybody home?
You know how sometimes you discover some music which upon listening for the first time, you can’t imagine how you lived your life without ever listening to it? The Stone Roses are one of those bands, man they’re amazing! “Sugar Spun Sister” is another fantastic song of theirs, it’s the kind of music that I can lie in bed and just listen to for hours. I wish I lived in the ’80s, the music from that era is so incredible. I just regret that I can never really hear any of them live, either because they only existed in the ’80s or they just don’t really tend to tour as much nowadays, especially to Singapore.
Gonna listen to Guns N Roses’ Chinese Democracy soon, now that prelims are over, there are only a couple of days for freedom left before going back to A-level-mugging (sniff), I need to enjoy the time damn fully with good music!
World Peace?
Finally prelims are over, I can’t take memorizing yet another Arab-Israeli war or Indo-Pakistani war or whatever. I don’t know why they just HAVE to fight all the time, sometimes I think maybe it’s just that easy to maintain peace, just don’t do anything lah! Like literally, just… don’t do anything. Maybe laziness is the secret to world peace? It would be like,
Fundamentalist/political leader etc: “We have to stand up for our human and religious rights! We have to fight back!”
Citizens & Soldiers: “Meh… Ooo pizza.” *proceed to watch reality TV and snack, but of course maybe they don’t have TVs, whatever they do for entertainment then*
What a utopia that would be.
SHIT
Had a horrible flu during BT2…
NOW IT’S BACK WITH A VENGEANCE, DURING PRELIMS NO LESS.
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is a my-life-sucks moment.
Technology
Okay it’s official, my 8-month-old VAIO is dead. Time to dig around for the warranty.
For a month or two now it’s been shutting off by itself randomly, but today, it could barely keep switched on for more than 5 minutes.
If this is due to a virus, life’s totally unfair, I’ve never went into any rubbish websites like porn or whatever, yet people do have their computers surviving for years. But then again the websites which host the TV shows which I watch may have contained viruses, sigh.
If this is due to a malfunctioning hard drive / overheating, I’ll never buy VAIO again. 8 months and already malfunctioning?! At present, I’m using my old big-fat DELL laptop (my PW mates will probably remember this mammoth laptop) which has stuck with me for years.
GRH. Technology.
Speaking of which, I hate the stupid advertisements/banners which are proliferating and polluting the internet, especially the “EVONY” one that seems to be plastered on every website I go to, even when I did research for lit. It has that Lord-of-the-Rings-ish Elvish woman bathed in sunlight with the orgasmic face and boobs spilling out and the stupid words, “PLAY NOW, MY LORD” floating around. Either that or some CGI woman in lingerie lying down with the same “PLAY NOW MY LORD” words floating around her boobs. Is there any idiot out there who actually clicks on that shit? And seriously, “PLAY NOW, MY LORD”? I also hate those “YOU HAVE JUST WON A PRIZE OPEN THIS MESSAGE!” banners which flash and make annoying sounds while I’m watching a video, as if capital letters and a big fat ad space doesn’t catch your attention already. So I have continually refresh the page and disrupt my video time so that the banner will change to something else. Don’t advertisers realize they’re being a big pain? Is there any idiot out there who actually clicks on that outright virus-filled lie, “YOU HAVE JUST WON A PRIZE”?
Okay I’m just cranky about my laptop. Bleargh.
:(
Oh damn I need to start memorizing history but my house is noisy with father watching ER Season 15 at top volume in the living room mother singing for her song-writing course thingy in the study room and sister talking to her boyfriend in the living room I can’t study in my room because there’s a bed and I’ll fall asleep and no one can sit comfortably on a bed without breaking their back anyway so I need the study room but my mother is singing and I can’t listen block out the sound with music because I can’t memorize stuff when someone else is singing stuff into my ears and the only instrumental song I have is Coldplay’s Life in Technicolour which I’m getting sick of after playing it for 120 times hmm maybe I should start downloading more instrumental/classical music is Bach better or Beethoven or maybe that four seasons dude Vivaldi anyway no one is free for a study date either argh sob in such times I wish I lived in a big fat mansion so there are a gazillion rooms and being in one of them will automatically shut off any sound waves coming from wherever.