This post is about a week or two overdue and has been rotting in my drafts dashboard:
While sorting out my bursting file, I came across the sheet of paper that was the activity that we did during Civics, where everyone passed around a piece of paper with their name on it and everyone else had to write a quality or whatever of the person. For a while now, and likewise according to what some of the paper had said, I thought that I was a straight-forward person. Then I realized that being direct doesn’t only constitute criticism, which only involves imparting a judgment on the person’s character, but it also means saying what you feel… And bloody hell, is that hard. I’m trying really hard to say something meaningful but I can’t, partially because if I confess every thought that crosses my mind, it would just be a big pile of crazy, but mostly because I can’t even bear to bring myself to face these glaring facts that I hide in the corner of my mind, much less able to translate it verbally. I can’t even bear to tell the truth to myself, I just come up with all sorts of distracting reasons when in my heart I know otherwise.
I’m not at all as brave as I thought I was.