For the whole day, I’ve had the image of a steel nut in my mind, and the reason why I kept thinking about it was because I couldn’t bloody recall the name of it. You know how these things just keep bothering you if you can’t figure them out. So I kept googling, “metal ring”, “metal knob”, “metal screw thing” and so on, then it finally hit me, STEEL NUT. The relief and assurance you get from such an experience is underrated.
Anyway, went for the Broken Social Scene concert a couple of days ago. Amanda bought me the Fujifilm Instant Camera in Korea and so far I haven’t really used it properly yet aka in the day, so here are a couple of wasted shots taken at the concert –
At the risk of sounding unbelievably square, I guess it was my first proper concert to a band that I actually like (I totally refuse to reveal what my first concert was as it is one of the more I-will-die-from-embarrassment-if-I-tell-anyone things that I’ve done and I’ll never get over it. Shane gives me enough shit for it too). I haven’t been able to go for any concerts that I wanted to go to because a) I usually can’t find anyone to go with, or b) it’s held at Fort Canning Park where my lack of height leads to the inability to see the band and suffocate from the body heat or c) didn’t even know they came. Anyway, I enjoyed it a lot, it made me realize there’s a shit load of stuff I’ve been missing out on.
And thanks to my momma, I’m getting this tomorrow:
In the world of emoticons, I am colon capital D!
The tricky thing about confessing one’s level of sexual experience is that regardless of what it is, there will always be people who will judge you for it, especially in a country where half of us are still bound to traditional values pertaining to the issue and the other half who are more liberal about it.
If you lack the sexual experience, some people will pass the judgment that you’re frigid, uptight or a prude.
If you do have the sexual experience, some people will self-righteously claim that you lack self-respect or moral character. You can’t win either way.
One’s personal stand on pre-marital sex, whatever it may be, doesn’t bother me, but what I have an issue with is the judgment they pass onto other people who do not share the same opinion. For something so subjective as this, we ought to realize that our own personal decisions are purely just that – personal, and nothing more. Our principles based on this issue aren’t universally right, just personal. I hate it when people laugh at the conservative group, and I hate it when people proclaim that sex after marriage is only “moral” and “correct”. But of course, from what I see, the latter group is the more hateful and self-righteous out of the two.
It is a flawed criteria to be used to assess someone’s moral character anyway.
That being said, my own personal opinion on it simply boils down to the attitude that one has towards it. To me, as long as your partner respects and loves you and vice versa, sex will only form a stronger bond with him/her. It’s only a degrading physical act when the respect is lacking. I think marriage is merely a legal declaration and bond between two people anyway, it is in no way an accurate tool to measure the amount of love between two people. For those who retort, “But you might get an STD. You’ll never know if your partner is sleeping with someone else while he/she is in a relationship with you! Marriage shows his/her commitment to you.” Well, if this whole thing really does boil down to trust issues, then why the hell are you even in a relationship with a person you can’t even trust to be faithful to you in the first place? In fact, if you’re still having such doubts about his/her loyalty after a few years of being in a serious relationship, it really is a relationship worth examining and rethinking. If I had a boyfriend who told me that the reason why he doesn’t want to sleep with me is because he thinks I might be sleeping around with other people and only through marriage will I be able to prove that I’m monogamous, I’d be incredibly insulted. Plus, sex really is a very normal aspect of human instinct, sometimes I don’t think it even is a matter of self-respect and morals but it is merely a scientific view of human behavior.
Anyway, random photo of food!
A spinach and mushroom pizza that Shane and I made. Turned out surprisingly good.
Okay I totally need to change my blog layout, it’s been like this for the past 3-4 years.
But I’ll change it when I have a nice photo to upload into the custom header thingy.
I think I need to change my blog url as well, it seems “eatmyshorts”, while intended as a Simpsons reference, used to be a porn site, hence the many searches on google for it. My next blog url ought to be free of porn references.
I feel like I have a lot to write about, just that I don’t know how to put it in words. I think it’s because I’m also trying to figure things out, so I’d just end up writing in circles.
I don’t quite understand the rationale behind wanting to have children. I guess it refers back to the primal need to reproduce for survival, to “throw forward” some of your own DNA into the future, so that you are somewhat living in the subsequent generations after you, a kind of twisted immortality.
Like Denise said, all the reasons to have children are essentially selfish (assuming I’m excluding accidental cases of pregnancy) – you might want to bring up another human being in a way you feel you were unable to experience yourself with your own parents, it creates a stronger bond with your spouse, you want to mold your child into someone you always wished you could become but couldn’t, you love being around children, having children helps you relive your childhood, to care about someone else besides yourself, simply because you can – everything starts from “you”.
The biggest reason of all that perpetuates among most young adults would be simply because society seems to dictate and establish that having children is a compulsory milestone to be achieved at some point in our lives. Here are just some of the primary life milestones that seem to be mindlessly embedded in our psyche – find true love, marry your true love, bear babies – that’s the dream, life is complete. But what troubles me is that so many teenagers dream about achieving these goals and so much effort and time is being invested in dreaming, but they have not honestly questioned themselves the validity of these goals and whether this is the kind of life they actually want and need. To be honest, I think they’re simply chasing these goals just because they would feel that they’re losing out if they don’t (but more on this later). After realizing that, I wondered, what reason would be the right reason to bear children? To bring another soul into the world has to have more significance besides fulfilling your own desires or to conform to what people from time immemorial have been doing.
But that seems to be all there is to it. Bearing children in itself seems to dilute the significance of human life. It further convinces me that there really is no greater reason behind our presence and existence on Earth. How can there be, if the reasons behind our conception are so superficial? Besides that, it’s such a primitive desire to disperse your DNA as much as possible, our existence really boils down to primal instincts and shallow reasons. It makes me think that there really isn’t a greater, all-encompassing blueprint orchestrating the course of life with the meaning of life included in the fine print, we are simply a bunch of coincidences bumping into one another.
A continuation from the point I raised earlier, it doesn’t help that all that true love/soul-mate shit is so overtly emphasized by the media to the point where I think every person feels a void or sense of incompleteness if unable to meet their soul-mate. The cold hard truth is that for most people, it’s most likely that there isn’t going to be a soul-mate who will be dropped onto their laps. There isn’t some destined prince charming who will save you from your demise. There will always be people whom you’re compatible with, but I think it’s silly and even detrimental to categorize relationships into “meant to be” or “not meant to be”. You will always be faced with the choice on whether to continue working on the relationship and sticking it out with the person if you feel it is worth it, or just leave if you feel it is not. You have the power to make it a “meant to be” relationship if you choose to. Like I said earlier, there is no blueprint.
I really think if people start taking a step back and examine the reasons behind pursuing these dictated life goals, they will realize that these reasons are superficial and empty.
Plus, I think this entire deluded, idealistic vision of the perfect guy and the perfect romance is skewed and contradictory of the women who possess it. But more on that next time.
Oh no, for some odd reason my latest entry has disappeared into the black holes of cyberspace *confuzzled*